August 30, 2017-This is an interesting story and is definitely not the first of its kind! Read on to find out more about the New York woman who left a lot of dough to her feline babies. I wonder how many of my cat-loving friends will have their cat’s named in their will? Click on the link below from our friends at NDTV.COM, and let me know your thoughts!
April 3, 2017-Sirens screamed, and I held my paws over my ears. The henchman lunged forward as he tried to plunge the knife into me but I rolled from one side to the other to escape the danger.
Suddenly there was a voice on a loudspeaker, “PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” it boomed. We were surrounded by what I hoped was the real police. Part of me was relieved, and the other part of me was still untrusting. We had been through so much with fake police and fake SWAT that I didn’t know what to believe, and it was hard to distinguish between the two.
The henchman who stood above me dropped his knife as several police officers swarmed him like bees. Another officer picked me up and brought me to the ambulance that was waiting with the doors open. I saw the small, stupid human, the large, stupid human, Simba, and Bernard who were being treated for injuries. I let out a sigh of relief as I collapsed into the arms of the small, stupid human. “It’s ok Seabass, everything is going to be ok,” she said and I wanted to believe her.
It was finally over, finally time to go back to the prison and get back to a seemingly normal life. Too much adventure was never a good thing and I felt as though we had been consumed by it for months.
The police came to the back of the ambulance and asked my humans a few questions. We were all being released and cleared to go back home. I looked over at the police cars and several henchmen were in handcuffs and pushed up against the outside of the cruisers. I looked again and silently calculated the arrested men. There was one problem…the tall, thin woman was missing from the group.
March 27, 2017-“Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?” the tall, thin woman screamed. She continued running toward us, and by this point, the large, stupid human had defeated his captor. The henchman was laying unconscious on the gravel, but there was still one to contend with. The man tried to grab for me again, but once again I bit down on him as hard as I could while Simba bit his ankle and Bernard broke free of the muzzle.
“Get him, Bernard!” I screamed as he charged at the henchman and knocked the wind out of him as he fell to the ground in a massive heap. Bernard dragged him by the coat cuff and whipped the man’s arms around viciously. He growled and snarled and spat slobber that washed over the henchman’s face. The tall, thin woman loomed over me with a huge stick. She swung it wildly, but I was able to roll out of the way just in time.
In the distance, I saw the large, stupid human grab a knife from the henchman’s utility belt and cut himself free of his restraints.He took the knife and ran towards the small, stupid human. The tall, thin woman swung at me again and missed as I rolled in the opposite direction. I knew that I couldn’t keep her at bay much longer. Bernard gnashed his teeth but couldn’t get near the stick that separated him and the tall, thin woman.
I looked for Simba but couldn’t find him. I needed him now more than ever. The henchman that was unconscious sprung to his feet and reached for his knife. “Let me do away with this one!” he said. “It’d be my pleasure,” he snarled at me.
I heard sirens in the distance. If I could hold on until they got to us, we would be saved! I was still underneath the van when I heard something up above me. Within seconds the van roared to life and suddenly my hiding place was compromised.
March 31, 2016-I am feeling particularly murderous today. I have annihilated a box of prey simulators and ripped the feathers off of a large stick. I’ve scattered them around my habitat to warn potential predators to stay away. I’ve practiced my ambushing skills by rushing through a semi-closed barrier and yelled my battle cry at the top of my lungs! I burst forth with such fury that it’s fortunate the small human was already using her litter box or I fear that she would have urinated on herself.
My mission today is to create an obstacle course to try and assassinate the large human. This is my second attempt in as many days. I leave small counterfeit rodents at the top of the staircase…I lay in wait, watching and praying for his demise. Also, there is a secondary trap on the bottom step of the stair…I’ve saved some of my fur from bathing by keeping it safely inside of myself and regurgitating it when necessary. Today it is of the utmost importance that I use it. The large human easily beats the trap that I’ve set for him and does not fall to his death, I am devastated. Once again my plan has failed. But alas, there is one last hope…the cold, wet pile of fur at the bottom of the stairs. I watch and listen… The large human yells something that is inaudible but if I were to guess what he was yelling I would say it was a word that has four letters. Success! Lady luck smiles upon me and although the human is not expired, I am one step closer to knowing his kryptonite. Each day I get closer to breaking his spirit and that warms my own.
I must finish this entry quickly because I fear there is a traitor among us. Simba conspires against me, of this I am sure. His loyalty lies to the small human, I oft see them together rubbing their faces on each other. Simba seems to be content with the vile woman and her strict regime of cuddling; this display of affection makes me want to vomit.I will not be as stupid and fall for such obvious brainwashing. I will continue to plot my escape and one day soon I hope to obtain what I so desperately search for…FREEDOM.