October 18, 2016-My heart sank and I stayed completely still…had I heard this correctly? That the small human was missing? I did a quick tally; it was about to grow to three if I didn’t do something soon. Simba was missing and now the small human…I couldn’t bear it any longer.
“Open the bag,” the female voice commanded, “I want to see what’s inside.” There was a second of silence before my large human spoke, his voice was flat and unwavering, “You already know what’s inside,” he said. “OPEN. THE. BAG.,” the voice repeated. I could tell her patience was wearing thin by the way that she spoke in syllables.
I had no idea what was in the bag that the large human was holding but I knew that it was NOT one black cat! I needed to act quickly so I took my sharpest nail and made a slit in the top of the duffel bag. I tore through the opening and bit the hand of the tall, thin woman who had tried to abduct me yet again. There was no way I was going to surrender! She would never take me again! She screamed out in pain and dropped the bag on the floor, in the midst of the chaos my large human swung the bag that he was holding and knocked out three of the henchmen that surrounded the tall, thin woman. It was absolute mayhem but time stood still for me.
I watched as it all unfolded in slow motion, like a beautiful dance. My large human swung around and whirled the bag around in the air, above his head and let loose on anything that got in his way. Henchmen flooded into the warehouse from their hiding spots and I watched as my large human took them out one at a time. It was glorious! He scooped me up and while we raced to the truck, he barreled over the tall, thin woman and her henchmen scurried to help her to her feet.
We bounded out the back door and raced to the truck, we were almost one hundred and fifty meters from it and we would be safe! There was a moment of silence and then a huge BANG…I watched in horror as the truck exploded in front of us.
April 1, 2016– Simba fears that the small human will starve to death so he brings her sustenance in the form of various items he scavenges …this is why I think they are in cahoots with eachother and are plotting my demise. I will be extra vigilant because I don’t know what they are conspiring about behind closed doors. I tend to believe that the small human is not hungry but is just too stupid to hunt …Simba seems to take pity on her but I never will. I have been storing small scraps of meat in the furnace grate to keep up my strength and because I never know when my next meal will be.
Today I will be keeping watch from my perch on the back of the couch and surveying the neighborhood for any approaching danger. I do hope the zombies are out this morning, I have formed an alliance with them as they could potentially free me from captivity. It has been 2,190 days in these deplorable conditions and it is more than I can bear. I practice my evacuation drills by running at top speed down the hallway and down the stairs. I repeat this four times every day at precisely 2am. I finish my training by sharpening my claws on the new carpet at the top of the staircase. I will shred the fabric to my liking unless the small human lunges at me which often happens. Sometimes she does capture me, (most of the time I cunningly elude her grasp) but I push my paws onto her face to make space between us. She speaks to me in some sort of imbicileinan language that I cannot understand. I swat at her face and she releases me immediately…such a wretched woman.
I am making progress with my plans for the large human of which he is unsuspecting. I am bending his will to my own and have made him my litter box butler. I deliberately scatter the gravel all over the floor so he must clean it up…Peasant. I’ve located the newest piece of furniture and stretched up as high as I can…I dig all ten claws into it and slowly pull down. This pleases me very much, the feel of leather between my toes is glorious…it is the only pleasure I have.