Seabass’ Diary…Day 167…Not So Fast

December 4, 2017- I crept out of the closet and returned to Simba.

“What are you doing?” Simba whispered, “There are animals in there that need saving!”

“No. There are no animals in the closet you fool!” I said with contempt.

“YES. THERE. ARE!” Simba hissed.

I shook my head and stayed silent for a moment. How was I going to get this through his thick skull?

“There are NO animals in the closet. I’ll prove it to you.”

“You’re going to have to because I’m not leaving until they’re rescued!”

I roll my eyes, “Come with me.”

I lead Simba to the closet one careful step at a time. Fear rips through with back with every sound as the floorboards creak beneath our combined weight. Thoughts of Amelia returning to capture us is enough to make me want to get out of here as fast as we can. There is no way that  I could spend another second with her; she was insane and I know that is a horrible thing to say about a little girl, but a spade is a spade.

“See? Look!” I hiss at Simba, “These are the so-called “animals” you’ve been worried about!” I gesture to the ceiling and point to the various one-piece pyjamas with various animal hoods. I still wasn’t sure how Simba made such a grievous error. Surely he knew the difference between real animals and clothing!

There are a few moments of silence before Simba speaks first, “Wait a second, so this is it? The animals that I thought were trapped in here are just pyjamas?”

“Yes.”

“How could I be so stupid?” Simba moaned.

I wanted to agree with him, that he was reckless and didn’t have his facts straight, and put us in a position of danger, but I couldn’t bring myself to scold him.

“You’re not stupid, I would have probably done the exact same thing…I…do you hear that?” I whisper. There is a faint sound coming from down the hall; it’s meowing.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 164…Lost and Found

October 30, 2017- I stood over Simba and fanned his face with my paws in an attempt to wake him.

“Simba, wake up! Wake up! Please!” I said. A few seconds later he startled and sprang to his feet.

“Are you ok?” The rodent whispered; we all waited with bated breath to find out what his answer would be.

“Yes, I’m ok. It was just all too much, the thought of going back in there is so overwhelming. We don’t have a choice though, there are lives at stake!”

“Are you ok?” I asked the rodent’s friend.

“Not really, I think that it’s time for us to leave…I can’t stay here one second longer!” The rodent friend said and then burst into tears.

I could not imagine the horror that they must have experienced even though I saw a lot with my own eyes. I don’t know what happened after I escaped and I’m not too sure that I really want all of the details.

The rodent turned to his friend and tried to calm him down, but to no avail, he was inconsolable. Without a word, they disappeared into the bushes.

Simba and I stood there for a second utterly stunned at the events that just unfolded.

“So what’s the plan?” I said. Sometimes I can be too dogmatic, and it often gets me in trouble.

“I don’t know, I don’t know where to start. I need a few minutes to gather myself,” Simba said.

“Ok, let me know when you’re ready,” I said. I rattled a couple of options around in my head before I settled on one idea in particular. It would be risky, but at this point, it looked like our only option.

Just as Simba was about to speak, there was a rustle from the bushes, and both rodents reappeared.

“We’ll help…and we have a plan to rescue the rest of the animals.”

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The Black Cat That I Appreciate…Today and Every Day!

August 17, 2017- In honour of Black Cat Appreciation Day, here are some photos of my very special black cat, Seabass! We love you Seabass, not just today but always:) XO

Seabass’ Diary…Day 139…Free at Last

April 3, 2017-Sirens screamed, and I held my paws over my ears. The henchman lunged forward as he tried to plunge the knife into me but I rolled from one side to the other to escape the danger.

Suddenly there was a voice on a loudspeaker, “PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” it boomed. We were surrounded by what I hoped was the real police. Part of me was relieved, and the other part of me was still untrusting. We had been through so much with fake police and fake SWAT that I didn’t know what to believe, and it was hard to distinguish between the two.

The henchman who stood above me dropped his knife as several police officers swarmed him like bees. Another officer picked me up and brought me to the ambulance that was waiting with the doors open. I saw the small, stupid human, the large, stupid human, Simba, and Bernard who were being treated for injuries. I let out a sigh of relief as I collapsed into the arms of the small, stupid human. “It’s ok Seabass, everything is going to be ok,” she said and I wanted to believe her.

It was finally over, finally time to go back to the prison and get back to a seemingly normal life. Too much adventure was never a good thing and I felt as though we had been consumed by it for months.

The police came to the back of the ambulance and asked my humans a few questions. We were all being released and cleared to go back home. I looked over at the police cars and several henchmen were in handcuffs and pushed up against the outside of the cruisers. I looked again and silently calculated the arrested men. There was one problem…the tall, thin woman was missing from the group.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 31…Missing…

April 30, 2016- I shook my head in amazement and it occurred to me that no matter what I did I would get blamed for it. I thought about that for a moment…so if I was going to get blamed for something I didn’t do, I might as well do whatever I want anyway! Yes of course! From now on I would do what I want!

I glared at Monty and I’m sure that my hateful stare struck fear deep into his heart. He did not remember who he was messing with! I am an evil genius, ice water runs through my veins and there is nothing that I am not capable of! Perhaps the mutt needed a gentle reminder of his place in our prison-perhaps I would be just the one to teach him that he was lowest on the totem pole…even lower than the stupid humans as far as I was concerned.

Later that night the stupid humans settled in front of the idiot box with the mutt and ate some sort of popped corn…I particularly like this stuff-especially the butter like topping which I lick off the corn kernels when no one is watching. I had already done that to this particular serving and watched as the stupid humans consumed it by the handfuls. As I watched them gorge…the large, stupid one especially, I realized that I needed a plan. A plan to get rid of the mutt for good but I would need help for what I had in mind…I would have to recruit Simba. I looked around-usually he did not leave the small, stupid human’s side, they were inseparable…but he was not at his usual post. I rushed to his hiding spot and he was not there either…it seemed as though Simba was missing.

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Seabass’Diary…Day 29…The Aftermath

Monty snarled at me and bared his teeth; I had infuriated him and the best part was that he could not reach me under the nest. His massive body excluded him from tiny spaces but I was like liquid; I could seep into any spot and take on its shape…it was just another awesome feature of being me! He yelled at me but we do not speak the same language so I could not understand a thing he was saying. Perhaps this is why our species does not get along.

I imagined that the aftermath of our foot race  was extraordinary, I did not look back to see the destruction but I heard glass drop to the floor…my assault on Monty was just the beginning! I could hear the humans unlocking the front door and waited with anticipation; I could barely contain myself, I wanted to hear them chastise the poor mutt. Monty heard the front door open as well and then something astonishing happened…Monty climbed up onto the nest and pretended to be asleep! How dare he! Why was he not greeting the humans like usual? Normally he shook his entire backside and ran in circles upon their arrival-what was happening?

I froze and waited, surely the stupid humans were not that…well…stupid. A huge gasp was heard down the hall and finally, “MONTY!” was yelled; the word thundered through the house! Boy, was he in for it, I just hoped that I could sneak out and witness the punishment. Monty did not move from his post. He laid on the nest and kept his eyes closed; his name was called again. He ignored the humans request to go to them and that is when I heard the sound urgent footsteps-they were coming for us.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 26…

April 24, 2016

I stood there frozen. Stephanie hadn’t spotted me yet and in a split second I made the decision to return to the prison…it would be better than being anywhere with her. I turned on my heels but it was too late. She jumped out of the bushes and started rubbing her face all over me-she grabbed me and smooched me as hard as she could; it left me breathless, but not in a good way. She was in love with me, but who could blame her? I am a magnificent specimen of black panther and anyone would be lucky to have me. I did not want to become involved with her because it would take my focus away from world domination…besides she had broken my heart once already.

I struggled to get away from her but she was stronger than me. She had me pinned and was grooming me furiously. I had no choice but to play dead.  Monty tracked my scent and found us in the bushes, the small, stupid human finally discovered us and scooped me up. “Stephanie!” she exclaimed with glee,”I haven’t seen you in months, I was worried about you!” Such treason made my guts churn. Stephanie loved the small, stupid human because she left  vittles at the gate of the prison as well as fresh water for all of the travellers.

I had seen many of my kinsmen from the clear barrier in the prison, I oft wondered what it would be like to join them on their travels. Did they also have aspirations to get rid of the humans? Did they aspire to take over the world like me? So many questions, but no answers .Stephanie was a gypsy of sorts and travelled constantly but she always turned up eventually. After I hadn’t seen her for an extended amount of time I thought that my wish had been granted and that she had been captured but alas, this was not the case. The small, stupid human handed me over to the large, stupid one, she picked up Stephanie and cradled her, Stephanie hugged her back. I vomited at the sight of such affection and the large, stupid human deposited me back inside the prison walls after muttering obscenities that I had soiled his uniform.

I watched from the clear barrier and shuddered at the thought of meeting her again-at least tonight I would be safe from her clutches. The first time we met was such an encounter that it still haunts my dreams.

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A picture of Stephanie…one of the gypsies that the warden feeds.

Seabass’ Diary…Day 25…

April 22, 2016 – The small, stupid human was standing on the front stoop with her hands on her hips; she looked worried.  I remained perched on the branch just a few feet above her sight line and the large, stupid human did not see me either. The wind was blowing quite fiercely so I decided to retreat to a few branches below; this was a mistake because the hell hound caught my scent and started barking. He sniffed around the base of the tree and looked up…I had been discovered!

I quickly but carefully scaled the tree to the highest branch. The idiot canine danced around the bottom of the trunk and continued to bark; he pointed his nose in the air and alerted the humans to my location. The small, stupid one called my name and tried to coax me down from the branches but I would have none of it; I would not go back to captivity without a fight!
The view was magnificent from where I sat, I could see everything! The humans were frantic and I could hear the large, stupid one speak into some sort of device; he was relaying the fact that I was in the tree top and that he could not reach me. I was quite comfortable and would not mind bunking here for the night but my plans to do so were in vain. I sat and admired the night sky for awhile when I noticed a large, red truck with a hose and a staircase had turned onto the street; it stopped right in front of the prison and a man got out. He spoke with the prison warden and she pointed in my direction. He started to manoeuvre some sort of staircase and before I knew it he was almost eye level with me.

There was nowhere for me to go but down and once I realized how high up I was I started to get dizzy. I clutched the tree and the man in the uniform gently pulled me from the branch; the small, stupid human was crying again and the man handed me over to her. TRAITOR!  I heard the large, stupid human mutter something like, “I could’ve done the same thing but I don’t have a ladder that’s tall enough…” I writhed with anger in the small, stupid one’s grasp and scratched at her face, the pain was too much for her to bear and she let go of me. I raced away from her clutches and returned to my backpack to gather my things when I spotted my arch nemesis…STEPHANIE.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 24…

April 21, 2016-

The large, stupid human put on his running shoes after incessant nagging by the small, stupid one. I imagine that I would’ve given in as well, as there was no hope of her ever stopping until she got what she wanted.

I had a small sack packed with some essentials; my book The Great Catsby, some vittles that I had been sneaking away from the food room and storing in my lair, my grooming tool and my diary of course. I stuffed the items into a small backpack and hoisted it onto my shoulders. I was ready. I laid in wait until the large, stupid human attached a rope to Monty’s necklace; the door opened and freedom beckoned. I snuck quietly out the prison gate and victory was mine! I had made it! Misson Impossible was completed!

I stealthily hid in the bushes to remain undetected; I took off my backpack and decided that this would be my base. I would explore the outside world and return to my supplies if I needed them. At this point, the large, stupid human had become a smudge on the horizon and I decided that it would be a good time to venture out. I prowled close to the ground-there were noises that I had never heard before and things that I had never seen or smelled before, what a glorious expedition thus far!

I travelled further into uncharted territory and was soon at the base of the birch tree that stood in the prison yard; I had two choices, I could turn left at the edge of the grass or I could climb the birch tree to get a better vantage point and decide on a direction. I chose the latter and climbed the trunk of the tree, I quickly scaled to the top and perched atop a large branch…I could see everything including the large, stupid human  and the canine beast who were returning from their voyage. All of the sudden the small, stupid human burst forth from the prison gate; she shouted at the large, stupid one and his canine companion, “I can’t find Seabass anywhere!” Her voice was filled with disdain. “Did you check the ceiling?” the large, stupid human asked with a smirk.

Little did they know that I was only a few feet above them and I was watching the whole thing unfold exactly how I had planned!

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