August 22, 2016-The stupid humans once again were alerted to a police presence at the prison and returned from wherever they had gone that evening.The police seemed to be at the prison a lot lately but I thoroughly enjoyed the publicity. The officer handed me over to the small, stupid one and explained exactly what had happened. He said that the media was asking for me.The small, stupid one agreed to let my fans have a glimpse of my magnificence but only for a few fleeting moments.
She opened the front door of the prison and held me tight. The crowd cheered and applauded for me. The sound was deafening but I loved it. So this was what being a celebrity was like! News reporters stood in front of me with microphones; the lights from camera crews were partially blinding but it was all a wonderful spectacle and it was all just for me! It became crystal clear that Bandit was right about me becoming even more famous.
I knew that if Oprah were still on the air she would’ve wanted me as a guest on her show. I put on my most menacing smile and looked straight into the cameras. The small, stupid human said a few words about me being a hero and how she was so thankful that I was in her life and without me she would most definitely perish…or something like that. She returned me to the inside of the prison and shut the front gate. “Why does it always smell like skunk in here?” she said and promptly began cleaning up the mess that had been left by my glorious escapade. I felt waves of sleepiness wash over me and I succumbed to the gentle closing of my eyelids. If I only knew what was about to happen next, I may not have slept so soundly that night.
Ok everyone, here are the best of the best lame cat jokes! My nephew specifically asked for this post so enjoy and remember…these aren’t that funny…sigh 😀
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens.
- What do you get when you cross a baby chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- What is a cat’s favourite song? Three Blind Mice.
- What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
- Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
- What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
- What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.
- What has more lives than a cat? A frog because it croaks every night.