Seabass’ Diary…Day 104…The Plan of Action

August 17,2016- I closed the door behind Bandit and started to prepare for phase 1 of the plan. I checked the clock again it was 1 am, that meant I had some time left before the tall, thin human returned to exact her revenge. I had no idea what she would do but I did know what she was capable of.

After I had prepared the necessary items for our plan of action, I sat down and had a snack. Funny how plotting things can make you famished. At precisely 2:00 am there was a knock at the door so I answered it. Bandit stood with Stinky on the front stoop of the prison with an army of animals behind them. There were some critters I had never met before but I was grateful for their allegiance to me. As each of the animals entered the prison I handed them a wig to put on. After the last comrade had entered, I closed the prison gate and looked around the room. What a sight to behold; animals big and small adorned with wigs of all lengths and colours…it was quite terrifying actually but somehow still magnificent.

I commanded the floor and straightened my wig, “Thank you all for being here tonight. As you know Simba and I are under attack again…we are being stalked by a tall, thin human who is out for revenge. I trust that you will help me defeat her!” The animals clapped and cheered and some of them even let out battle cries; It was inspiring! Luckily , all of the noise and boisterous behaviour did not wake Simba. He had been sound asleep for eighteen hours already and showed no signs of stirring.

“Does everyone know what their role is?” I asked. “YES!” the animals shouted in unison. I looked at my watch and set the alarm for precisely 2:31 am…one minute before the tall, thin human would return and break into the prison. I shut off the lights and the animals took to their posts.


Seabass’ Diary…Day 102…A Little Help…

August 15, 2016-“What are you doing here?” I said in disbelief. It was fortunate for Bandit that the stupid humans weren’t home; he was still taking a risk of being seen by boldly knocking at the front gate. “I came to see if you and Simba were ok! I watched the news and heard all about your adventure…the word around town is that you’re a hero!” I smiled…I was a hero wasn’t I? I thought to myself and invited Bandit inside.

The clock chimed 11 and I made a mental note of how many hours before the tall, thin human returned. “It’s good to see you dear friend,” I said, “I have much to tell you.” Bandit helped himself to a few snacks in the kitchen while I told him the whole story about the diamond heist and brought him up to speed with what was happening now. “So you see, she’s coming back for revenge and I could use all the help I can get…I ordered some supplies on the Amazon but somehow my order got mixed up,” I said. “What’s in the box then?” Bandit asked. “Wigs,” I said as I pulled one out to show him.

Bandit inspected the wigs and put one on…he looked pretty terrifying actually. “I have an idea,” he said as he put the wig back into the box, “How many wigs are there?” I jumped into the box and counted, “15,” I said. “That’ll do just fine,” he said. “What’s the plan?” I asked, I felt a bit nervous because the last time that Bandit and I teamed up Simba and I landed in the clink. Bandit rubbed his palm together and smiled a most devious smile, “Not to worry…I’ve got it all figured out and guess what? You’re gonna be famous!”



Seabass’ Diary…Day 70…Taken…

June 29, 2016-“I know I am the chosen one but where will they take me?” I asked Caleb. “You will be taken to the heist that the human has planned and you will be used to steal a very rare diamond…they have been planning this for months! I know that they have been waiting for the right man for the job…that just happens to be you.” I stared at him for a moment and tried to piece things together but I couldn’t quite make it fit, “Explain what you mean by me being the right man for the job,” I said. Caleb lowered his head said solemnly, “They’ve been waiting for a black cat.”

The animals in the room were still gathered around us; I took the opportunity to go over the plan once again. “Does everyone know what they are supposed to do?” I asked as the animals nodded in unison, “Let’s do a quick re-cap just to be sure…our lives literally depend on it.” It was hard for me to depend on others’ abilities to save me from any situation let alone a life or death one but what choice did I have. I had to take a chance not only for me but for Simba.

Night fell quickly and Edgardo and his henchmen returned to the room…little did they know that we had devised a plan of attack. The animals turned and stared as the tall, thin human entered the room and said, “Bring me the Chosen One!” Callisto grabbed my hand and whispered, “Don’t be afraid! We are counting on you to save us!” I looked at her and squeezed her hand, “I will never let you down!” and I was taken by the human.

iphone82015 038


Seabass’ Diary…Day 37…T-Minus…

May 9, 2016-I awoke in the early morning to the sound of birds chirping. What a hideous existence-what did they have to sing about? It would be a few hours until the wedlock happened but this was preferred because I had much to prepare. The small, stupid human would be working the late shift so she was still sound asleep in her nest when the doorbell rang.

She awoke from her slumber and trotted to the front of the prison. She opened the door groggily and accepted a package; the outside of it read AMAZON. Excellent! My purchases had arrived! She put the box down and returned with a pair of cutting instruments; she looked inside of the box and she suddenly jolted awake. “Why would he order a machete and catnip?” she said. She shrugged her shoulders and retreated to the nest again.

Things were progressing swimmingly! I jumped into the box and tipped it over so that I could handle it’s contents; the machete gleamed in the sunlight and I wielded it like King Arthur with his Excalibur. I felt unstoppable and all powerful! I must hasten to unpack the rest of the box before the small, stupid human woke again to find the things missing. Simba slept soundly beside her as I entered the room. If only he knew what would take place later that night under a cloak of darkness, he would’ve not slept so peacefully.

I looked at my watch and counted down the hours-it was precisely T-Minus 3 hours and 40 seconds before the launch of my master plan. I was ready! I wanted to have some catnip SO badly but I feared it would delay my much needed skills and reflexes…it would have to wait until after the job was done. Plus, it made me ravenously hungry.

iphone oct 2015 055

Seabass’Diary…Day 32…Found

May 2, 2016- I scrambled around the prison and looked everywhere for Simba. I searched all of his regular hiding spots but alas I could not locate his whereabouts.I retreated to my lair to think in silence; I needed a plan and I needed one now.

I paced back and forth; why was it that when I needed to do something quickly, my brilliant mind suddenly went blank?  I heard a scratching sound above my head and looked up-nothing. A few seconds later I heard it again…I climbed onto the clothes washing shelf and investigated…there it was again-the sound was coming from behind a board at the top of the wall. I pushed on the board with all of my strength and then something extraordinary happened-the wall opened up to reveal a secret tunnel. My heart raced and I could hear the sound of it fill my ears at that very second I knew what I had to do.

I entered the tunnel cautiously for there was barely any light except for a few shards that barely shattered the cloak of inky darkness. My palms were sweating and my breathing became shallow-this felt extremely dangerous. I followed the sound of the scratching, it was getting closer. I felt my way through the corridor blindly, the blackness seemed to stretch into forever…the scratching had suddenly stopped and I felt myself becoming increasingly nervous. Perhaps Simba had laid a trap for me-after all I had done to him it would not come as a surprise; it was quite possible that he was luring me to my death. I gulped back my fear and continued on my trek …I could hear voices. I rounded a corner and a blast of bright light burned my retinas; I tried to focus but the brightness made it difficult. I rubbed my eyes and blinked hard and some of the blurry images finally came into focus. My heart beat wildly in my chest and I gasped…could this be possible? Tell me it was not so! What I witnessed next made me question EVERYTHING I ever thought I knew about…Simba.


Seabass’ Diary…Day 20…

April 17, 2016-“I have long feared that my sins would return to haunt me, and the cost would be more than I could bear.” Whoever said that was right, for that is how I was feeling at any given moment. I knew that Simbicile was plotting something against me and I hated how my guts churned in trepidation as I waited for the proverbial axe to fall.

I was reading in my lair as usual, The Great Catsby, when I heard a noise coming from upstairs; the small, stupid human was conversing with someone at the front of the prison gate. I crept up the stairs carefully to get a better vantage point of the situation; there stood a medium sized human and a small sized human (smaller than the small, stupid one that was imprisoning me). I had seen these humans before-they controlled the prison next to ours. The smaller one was holding some kind of rope but I could not see what was at the end of it. They were horrible captors I assumed because I would oft hear howling that came from their lawn but at least the canine that they were incarcerating got an hour of yard time…we didn’t get any at all.

My captors were ghastly and they always kept the place on lockdown…until this moment. I saw a glimmer of freedom-the front prison gate was left open! This was my chance; I inched my way closer and prayed that I would go undetected. I took a deep breath and felt a pair of hands on my backside; I whipped around and there stood Simbicile…he was pushing me out the prison gate! Thoughts swirled in my mind, why the sudden sense of camaraderie? I had been horrible to him and here he was assisting my escape! I had been wrong about him, I should’ve been a better cell mate!

Little did I know that this was all part of his sinister plan to get back at me for exposing his greatest fear…

FullSizeRender (4)
Me at my study…


Seabass’ Diary…Day 3

March 30, 2016-Last night the large human had ham. It was agony to watch him eat it..he taunted me with every delicious bite but be sure I will exact my revenge. While the humans weren’t looking I formulated an ingenious but dangerous plan…I would steal the ham off the counter. I steadied myself on the counter and made the 20 foot leap across the room, I landed on target and pushed the plate onto the floor. Success!..but only for a moment. The small human came rushing in and pulled me away from my feast. She continues to mistreat me.

I awoke to the grasp of the small human. She and the large human have a very comfortable nest so I try to take up as much space as possible. I suppose there is a trade-off for my comfort…I must let her touch me but I insist on biting her hand every time to remind her of my power.  I vomited my breakfast on the carpet to show her my dissatisfaction with the menu that never varies…I also think that she is trying to poison me. I watch her scrub the carpet and while she is doing this I climb onto her back to get a better vantage point and to look for a possible escape route. My father Simba and I are served small, dry nuggets each morning at varying times due to the small human’s laziness. I’ve retreated to my lair because I know that the humans will not be able to reach me on the highest shelf of the laundry room. There is a window and sometimes a squirrel that I watch…oh if only I were free like him to frolic in the afternoon breeze…his very being reminds me of my oppression. I hate him. Today I shall try and sleep away the horror of this place and escape into my dreams of a better life.

iphone82015 046
The deplorable conditions of my current lodgings…look away.