Seabass’ Diary…Day 38…Lift-Off!

May 10, 2016-It was finally time. The small, stupid human left for work and I had all of the items that I needed to facilitate the robbery; Operation Luigi had officially begun. I followed Simba to the basement and like a ninja, I remained invisible…he looked behind him a few times before entering the secret tunnel but alas, I became merely a shadow. I quoted one of my favourite villains of all time while I thought of Simba sneaking around and one day I would say this to his face, “Ah, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding.”

He entered the corridor first and I set my watch. I waited precisely forty seconds and then entered behind him. The other mercenaries were waiting for him outside of the vent. He squeezed his massive girth through the tight space and was now free. I watched from inside the darkness for a moment and stalked the crew until they got to the corner. We rounded the sidewalk and there in all of it’s glory, was the Luigi’s Catering truck.

The smells from the truck danced on the wind and quickly floated to my nostrils; it was intoxicating. Simba gathered the unit and went over the final details of the plan. I remained in the bushes just out of sight and set my Panoramic Night Vision goggles to stun…just kidding, they don’t have that feature but I wished they did…Damn, that’s what I should’ve ordered from the Amazon-next time. The wedlock’s backyard was filled with tiny twinkling lights and a large, white tent; stupid humans filled the space and were dressed in fancy clothes. Simba finally announced, “It is time.”

iphone82015 038
How I look through my night vision goggles…

Seabass’ Diary…Day 35…What is a Marriage?..

May 5, 2016-It was finally time for the hell hound to go home. I had been consumed by taking over Simba’s plan that I left the poor mutt alone for his duration at the prison. A bit of regret washed over me that I had not made his stay more unbearable.

His stupid humans collected him and the transfer was complete. I was glad to see him leave, there were other things that needed my immediate attention. I had much work to do with getting ready for the hostile takeover; I needed to gather supplies and I also needed to draw a map. This would be particularly difficult because I do not have opposable thumbs but nonetheless I would manage somehow. This evening would be the perfect opportunity to venture out into freedom! I would survey the outdoor compound for clues about Simba’s plan. Hopefully there was some sort of directions to the place, I could take a picture of it in my mind’s eye to be more prepared for the actual event and then I would transfer the image to paper and work from a set of plans. This had to be perfect.

The warden and the large, stupid human were out at their jobs, I assumed that they were gathering monies to buy feed for us …they must not be paid much because the food here is bland and tasteless. I went to the basement and climbed onto the shelf, I entered the secret corridor and retraced my steps from the evening before. I reached the end but there was no light-only slivers…had I gone in the wrong direction? I could not seem to get my bearings, I felt around in the darkness and suddenly brushed up against something with my foot. I picked it up and carried it back down the corridor to the shelf; I sat down still puzzled at the barrier that now stood between freedom and me.

I looked at the paperwork that I had collected and this is how it read, “Celebrate our marriage with us! Black tie reception to be held at…” I needed to find out what a marriage was, but one thing I did know, was that this was what Simba had named, Operation Luigi and that I was thankful that I owned a black tie.