June 14, 2017- Check out this hilarious spoof of Jurassic World! I think this version is just as good:)
May 4, 2016-I retreated down the corridor and returned to my lair…I had no idea what to do. Should I confront Simba immediately and tell him that he needs my help? Should I assemble my own gang to perform the operation? Should I show up unexpectedly and complete a hostile take over of the mission? There were so many options! One thing I did know for sure was that they needed me-they needed me and they didn’t even know it.
I raced upstairs to the place where the stupid humans were still watching the movie. It wouldn’t be long before they would retire to their nest. The large, stupid one and the mongrel seemed in competition for who could snore the loudest; it was disheartening to know that they were the reasons for my recapture. Nevermind, I had a new goal to focus on, something else to take my attention away from my situation. Plus, I now had an escape route that led to freedom!
Simba sauntered up the stairs and tried his best to act as if he had just stirred from his slumber. I wanted to punch him in the face for betraying me like this and for thinking that he could do this on his own, but alas, I remained calm. I stared at him, if he only knew that I had discovered his plan! I decided at that moment what my course of action would be, I would show up at his operation and take over the entire thing-that way I could ensure that it would be done correctly. Besides, if he kept such secrets from me, he should be prepared for a taste of his own medicine!
April 30, 2016- I shook my head in amazement and it occurred to me that no matter what I did I would get blamed for it. I thought about that for a moment…so if I was going to get blamed for something I didn’t do, I might as well do whatever I want anyway! Yes of course! From now on I would do what I want!
I glared at Monty and I’m sure that my hateful stare struck fear deep into his heart. He did not remember who he was messing with! I am an evil genius, ice water runs through my veins and there is nothing that I am not capable of! Perhaps the mutt needed a gentle reminder of his place in our prison-perhaps I would be just the one to teach him that he was lowest on the totem pole…even lower than the stupid humans as far as I was concerned.
Later that night the stupid humans settled in front of the idiot box with the mutt and ate some sort of popped corn…I particularly like this stuff-especially the butter like topping which I lick off the corn kernels when no one is watching. I had already done that to this particular serving and watched as the stupid humans consumed it by the handfuls. As I watched them gorge…the large, stupid one especially, I realized that I needed a plan. A plan to get rid of the mutt for good but I would need help for what I had in mind…I would have to recruit Simba. I looked around-usually he did not leave the small, stupid human’s side, they were inseparable…but he was not at his usual post. I rushed to his hiding spot and he was not there either…it seemed as though Simba was missing.