Seabass’ Diary…Day 39…Trouble…

May 11, 2016- At that very moment I decided it was time indeed, time for me to reveal myself and take over their plan. I pounced from the bushes and said, “Not so fast!” The group was surprised to see me and Simba’s eyes narrowed in anger, “What are you doing here and why are you wearing night vision goggles?” he demanded. I smirked at his stupidity, “You didn’t think you could do this without me did you?”

I’m sure it took everything in him to restrain himself but Simba remained calm. “This is my operation…we’ve done all of the work and you expect to swoop in at the last second and take command of my brigade…no, that is not happening.” I glared at him, “I’ve studied the location and even ordered supplies that would benefit us.” I showed him what was in my backpack to prove to him that I would be a help not a hindrance. There was a pause from the group, the bandit gathered everyone except me into a huddle.

After a quick conversation Simba finally said the words I had been waiting to hear, “Fine you can join us but don’t screw it up, your orders will come directly from me.” That’s maybe what he said but this is what I heard, “Your Lordship, we welcome you with open arms, please take over this mission and lead us into battle! Without you there would be no victory!” I happily obliged and handed out the items in my sack.

There was a loud noise that startled the brigade, we whipped around to see what it was. A gang of misfits stood ominously in a tree behind us, the scariest part is that they were all the same species…Squirrels. The head squirrel that had continuously tortured Simba and I from outside the prison walls was staring at us…and he was wearing the mask that I had ordered from the Amazon.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 36…Interwebs…

May 6, 2016-I went to the internet machine and Googled the word, Marriage, on the interwebs. Yuck. According to something called Wikipedia, Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws,[1] as well as society in general.

Wed-lock…sounds like another name for a prison…hmm. My question is why the hell would anyone agree to a legal contract that outlines rights and obligations of someone, (especially with someone called in-laws…sounds scary) aren’t stupid humans smarter than that? Perhaps I just answered my own question…Anyway, back to the task at hand; Now that I knew what a marriage was, I knew what Simba was up to for sure. He was going to hijack the catering truck and consume all of the delicacies himself and distribute them among his hired minions! Not on my watch! If he was going to get delicious meats and cheeses so was I, he would NOT stop me…NO ONE would stop me! I would allow him to execute his feeble plan and then I’d swoop down at the last minute and take charge…this is how proper villains work- they allow others to do the work and then take all the glory.

According to the map I found the marriage would take place tomorrow just, a few houses down from the prison. This was especially fortuitous because I would no longer have to rent an armoured car to get there. Since the warden and the large, stupid human were at their laborious jobs, I had all the time in the world to do my detective work…apparently you can have anything and I mean ANYTHING delivered right to your door. I ordered many things; a new scratching post, a box of delectable treats, a machete, rope, night vision goggles, and a delightful mask to hide my identity! Oh and fourteen bags of catnip…for the after party of course.  I rubbed my paws together and waited for something called AMAZON to arrive.

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Waiting for the Amazon…

Seabass’ Diary…Day 33…Secret Society

May 3, 2016-I could’t believe what was happening in front of my eyes. The huge amounts of light were from the street lamp that had seeped into the secret hallway-the hallway led to a large opening where some sort of vent had fallen off and revealed the outside world. Simba stood right outside of the opening on the lush green grass and he was surrounded by what seemed like a secret society of animals.

A bandit who wore a mask (talk about being obvious…if you’re going to rob someone be a little more creative), a chipmunk with a chubby little face, a creature with a black and white streak down it’s tail (who smelled terribly if I am being honest about things), and a fella who moved as slow as molasses (he wore some sort of hard armour…looked like a shell) and finally a creature that looked like a large rat but had a longer tail and was quite experienced in playing dead,  were all gathered in a circle. I stayed in the shadows and listened to their conversation. Thoughts raced through my mind…were these creatures ex-mercenaries like myself? Did Simba recruit them so that he could exact his revenge on me? Perhaps he was recruiting them to do away with Monty…one could only hope.

“Attention everyone, attention!” Simba said as he called the secret meeting to order; I held my breath and slunk to the ground. “We all know why we’re here, we need to work together in order to obtain our mutual goal and without eachother we will not be successful.” My heart beat faster, I saw Simba reach into his pocket and pull out some sort of pamphlet. “Operation Luigi’s Catering will commence in two weeks from tonight!”

I shrank back into the hallway… my mind swirled with all of the new found information..with Simba at the helm of this dangerous heist, it would not end well for anyone.

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A recent mug shot of one of the recruits…