April 20, 2017- My guts churned as I realized the facts. The tall, thin woman missing from the group meant that she was still at large. I didn’t want to think about her on the loose, lurking around our neighbourhood, waiting for her next opportunity to cause chaos in our seemingly normal lives.
There were so many things I’d have to sort out; the new found power of Simba and what he was really capable of, getting Bernard back to his family, making sure that the prison was secured and not in imminent danger, among a laundry list of other things. I hated feeling this way; so unsure of what was to come and the feeling of not knowing who was really around me.
All of us except the small, stupid human were taken back to the prison in a police car. She was being taken to the hospital because of her injuries. The large, stupid human took Bernard back to Monty’s house where his family was waiting; I watched from the window of the prison as the large, stupid human explained the ordeal to Bernard’s parents. Thankfully they looked shocked and sympathetic and seemed happy that Bernard was safe.
“Sebastien, may I speak to you for a moment?” Simba asked. I half-heartedly turned around and expected a lecture.
“I’m glad we’re all safe, I’m glad that this didn’t turn out as a worst possible scenario,” he continued.
“I’m glad we’re back too,” I paused for a moment and wondered if I should say anything else. Before I got a chance Simba spoke, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I gave him my full attention and sat in silence at the prospect of what he was about to say. I braced myself and held my breath.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
February 13, 2017- The black van came to a screeching halt and cornered us against the edge of the cliff. There was no way out but down and I knew that there was no possibility of diving off of it again. That just wasn’t going to happen. The door flung open and five men in black, bullet-proof vests with the letters S.W.A.T. written on them said, “Get in.”
I looked at the large, stupid human and a wave of suspicion washed over his face. I could tell that he didn’t know whether to believe them or if this was just another booby trap that the tall, thin woman and her henchmen had constructed to kidnap us and kill us.
The large, stupid human said what we were all thinking, “How am I supposed to know that you’re the cops? Took you long enough to get here by the way.”
One of the men fired back, “Listen, do you want to find your wife or not? By my calculations, we have about twelve minutes to get to her before they do…”
Another man in the S.W.A.T. vest said, “You’re going to have to trust us.”
Simba got into the van and then the large, stupid human and Bernard. I hesitated for a second because my guts told me that something was wrong.
“Seabass, GET IN NOW!” Simba ordered.
Everything in me was screaming for me to run but I did as I was told…as soon as I stepped foot in the van I immediately wished that I had listened to myself.
August 10, 2016-I put all of the items into my virtual shopping cart and clicked on express/same day shipping. The receipt said that my order would be here no later than five pm-that was going to be a bit of a problem because the stupid humans would not be gone yet. I took a deep breath and decided that I would cross that bridge when I came to it. I grabbed my voice recorder again and started making notes.
“5 p.m.-shipment arrives. 5:15 p.m unpack shipment. 5:20 p.m take a break. 5:30 p.m stare down the horrible squirrel that taunts me from the back yard.” Things were moving along quite swimmingly and I was pleased with my time management skills. I took a quick nap and dreamt of how satisfying it would be to use my new taser on the tall, thin human.
At precisely 5 p.m the prison front bell rang. I gritted my teeth and waited for the small, stupid human to answer it. I had no idea what my plan of distraction would be but it didn’t matter because I was incredibly good at thinking on my feet. I waited for the sound of her footsteps but they never came. The bell rang again…no answer. Was it possible that the small, stupid human and the large stupid, human were dead? I supposed anything was possible.
I peered through the front door mail slit and saw the Amazon’s truck drive away-my package sat on the stoop. I placed my hand on the prison door and was just about to open it when I heard a muffled sound behind me. I quickly slipped into the stairwell and hid in the shadows. I peeked around the banister-it was only Simba. “Good Morning, I trust you slept well?” I asked unassumingly. Simba rubbed his eyes and stretched, “Yes…what are you doing?” he said with a raised eyebrow. I smiled my best smile and said, “You don’t want to know.” For a split second he paused, “You’re right…” he said and turned on his heels and went back to the nest.
April 28, 2016-The footsteps drew nearer and I held my breath in anticipation. The lights flicked on and there stood both of the stupid humans.They looked at the nest and then at each other, the look on their faces told me that they were astounded with the vision in front of them.
The small, stupid human slowly approached the nest and paused. She looked at the sleeping mongrel and he opened his eyes. Monty gave her the saddest look I’ve ever seen, it was so sad that it was pathetic actually. This would never work on the small, stupid human even if she was a total idiot-she would see through his thinly veiled plan and punish him at any moment…I waited.
She sat down on the nest with him and stroked his coat gently. He lifted his head and nudged her, she embraced him and he gave her a disgusting, slobbery kiss. WHAT WAS HAPPENING?! My jaw hung open with amazement. Had I been outsmarted by a lesser species? No, this could not be possible! My eyes darted to the doorway and the large, stupid human was gone. I emerged from my hiding place and like a ninja, I crept into the doorway of the livingroom to see what he was doing; the large, stupid human was cleaning up the mess! He swept up the shattered glass and put the room back in order in complete silence.
The small, stupid human entered the living room with the mutt.She looked around for a moment as she surveyed the damage, she finally said quietly, “So what do you think happened here?” The large, stupid human turned to her and said, “Seabass happened…I have no doubt.”