February 6, 2017-Bernard pushed the large, stupid human one more time with as much force as he could muster. There was a sudden spurt and sputter and with a giant gurgle the large, stupid human coughed and spat up water. He sat up and took a few deep breaths. Bernard had saved his life!
“What the…” the large, stupid human said as he looked at the state of us. He looked up at the rocky ledge and frantically pieced together what had happened.
“We’ve got to get out of here!” He said and began his ascent up the cliff. We followed closely behind and when we finally reached the top we looked around cautiously for the tall, thin human and her henchmen but they were nowhere to be found.
“We have to find her…it’s been too long!” the large, stupid human said of the small, stupid one. He was right, she had been missing for quite some time and I was even starting to worry about her safety.
“I bet she’s dead by now,” the large, stupid human said. His words shook my core. Dead. She couldn’t be. Was the tall, thin human capable of such a thing?
I shuddered at the thought and answered my own question. Yes. She was more than capable.
The large, stupid human squinted into the sun and there was a sudden screech of tires meeting pavement. Our heads whipped around and we were met with the sight of a black van.
January 30, 2017- His words stung my ears and I stood there in a daze. Simba. Not who I thought he was at all. When did this all happen? Was he planning to overthrow me in a quest for total domination? There was no more time to think, he was right, we needed to save the large, stupid human and Bernard and for right now, the only way to do that was to remain on the same team.
We could sort out the World Domination thing once we were back at the prison. If we ever got there. The situation of ever returning to the prison became bleaker as the seconds ticked on.
“There they are!” Simba pointed not fifty yards away.
“Follow me!” He commanded and I had no choice but to do as he said. As we quickly made our way across the large rocks that littered the side of the enormous body of water fear filled my body. I was scared for a lot of reasons and had every right to be so. We picked our way through the treacherous terrain and finally made it to the large, stupid human and Bernard.
As we quickly made our way across the large rocks that littered the side of the enormous body of water, fear filled my body. I was scared for a lot of reasons and had every right to be so. We picked our way through the treacherous terrain and finally made it to the large, stupid human and Bernard.
The large, stupid human was laying face down on the rocks and Bernard was trying to roll him over with his snout. He pushed his snout under him but the human flopped back down.
“He’s not moving,” Bernard whispered. “I tried a dozen times to flip him over but…” his voice trailed off and I could tell that he was about to cry. So was I. As much as the large, stupid human and I had battled over the years this was the last thing that I wanted.
Simba, Bernard and I stood there stunned. I wanted to scream, DO SOMETHING! but I knew there was no one who could help us.
June 7, 2017- I charged our potential captor and used his chest as a springboard; I flew through the air and caught a glimpse of Bandit as he raced between his legs and down the stairs. We made it! We scurried into the secret corridor and said a quick goodbye, “I’ll miss you!” “Until we meet again!” and with those words Bandit vanished into the night.
Little did I know that the large, stupid human had followed right behind me and witnessed the entire escape; now he knew about the secret corridor and my dreams of keeping the entire operation were no longer under wraps. I curled into a magnificent ball of majesty and hissed at him; there was no way that I was ever going to go anywhere with him for as long as he lived…which by my calculations would not be long if I got my way. The large, stupid human bellowed for our grandpa, “DAD! I need you to come in here!”
Grandpa entered my lair and the large, stupid human showed him the hole to the outside world. I wondered where the small, stupid human was and my question was answered. The large, stupid one turned to Grandpa and said, “Lacey is taking the flight out that I’m supposed to be on…I’m going to take the next available and meet her there, will you please fix this AND MAKE SURE THERE IS NO WILDLIFE LIVING IN MY HOUSE WHEN I GET BACK!” He shouted loudly and the prison walls shook, “AND MAKE SURE THIS CAT DOESN’T GET INTO ANY MORE TROUBLE!” He glared at me and I wondered why he was so angry…was it because his hair was still plastered with cake? Or that icing had dried to his face and was holding one eyelid shut?
These questions were not of my concern and to be honest, I didn’t really care until I heard Grandpa say, “So what should I do; take them to my house for the week?” The large, stupid human turned to him and said, “Check them into a pet hotel…they can be someone else’s problem.”