June 15, 2017- This cat is AWESOME! Vlad the explorer is an adventurous kitty that has visited all 59 National parks with his humans…that’s a major feat not only for him but for humans everywhere! Check out this fantastic article from our friends at People Pets!
April 24, 2017-I shifted my weight. I already knew that he wasn’t who I thought he was, he was only reiterating the fact.
“Ok, then why don’t you go ahead and tell me who you are,” I said firmly.
“You don’t need to get upset; who I am doesn’t change anything,” Simba said.
“Then why are you stalling?” I said and narrowed my eyes at him.
“Come with me, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can show you,” he said, and I followed him to the prison library. I had been in the library a million times not a thing was out of place and to be frank, it was boring. Books lived here, from floor to ceiling. Odd books, rare books, textbooks and the classics. This was the place where the small, stupid human tapped away at her keyboard, while I sat on it to be a pain. I loved putting myself in front of whatever she was doing because this was a clear message that I was in charge; it worked every time because she always stopped what she was doing to pick me up and pet me.
I followed Simba to the back corner of the library and watched as he shuffled some books around like a puzzle. My eyes grew wider when I realized what was happening.
“Stand back,” he said, and for once I obeyed him. A large portion of the wall began to creak and groan, and with a giant “THUMP” it opened to reveal a staircase.
I swallowed hard,”What is this place?” Simba ignored me, picked up a lit torch and led us into the darkness.
We finally reached an iron gate with a scanner on the wall. Simba held up his left paw, and we were granted access.
I blinked quickly because I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was this real? Was it true?
“Welcome to headquarters, I’m special agent Simba Mufasa of the FBI,” he said.
“The Federal Bureau of Investigation?” I squeaked.
“No, the FELINE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION,” he said as he flashed his badge.
The walls closed in on me, and the world went black.
April 20, 2017- My guts churned as I realized the facts. The tall, thin woman missing from the group meant that she was still at large. I didn’t want to think about her on the loose, lurking around our neighbourhood, waiting for her next opportunity to cause chaos in our seemingly normal lives.
There were so many things I’d have to sort out; the new found power of Simba and what he was really capable of, getting Bernard back to his family, making sure that the prison was secured and not in imminent danger, among a laundry list of other things. I hated feeling this way; so unsure of what was to come and the feeling of not knowing who was really around me.
All of us except the small, stupid human were taken back to the prison in a police car. She was being taken to the hospital because of her injuries. The large, stupid human took Bernard back to Monty’s house where his family was waiting; I watched from the window of the prison as the large, stupid human explained the ordeal to Bernard’s parents. Thankfully they looked shocked and sympathetic and seemed happy that Bernard was safe.
“Sebastien, may I speak to you for a moment?” Simba asked. I half-heartedly turned around and expected a lecture.
“I’m glad we’re all safe, I’m glad that this didn’t turn out as a worst possible scenario,” he continued.
“I’m glad we’re back too,” I paused for a moment and wondered if I should say anything else. Before I got a chance Simba spoke, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I gave him my full attention and sat in silence at the prospect of what he was about to say. I braced myself and held my breath.
April 3, 2017-Sirens screamed, and I held my paws over my ears. The henchman lunged forward as he tried to plunge the knife into me but I rolled from one side to the other to escape the danger.
Suddenly there was a voice on a loudspeaker, “PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” it boomed. We were surrounded by what I hoped was the real police. Part of me was relieved, and the other part of me was still untrusting. We had been through so much with fake police and fake SWAT that I didn’t know what to believe, and it was hard to distinguish between the two.
The henchman who stood above me dropped his knife as several police officers swarmed him like bees. Another officer picked me up and brought me to the ambulance that was waiting with the doors open. I saw the small, stupid human, the large, stupid human, Simba, and Bernard who were being treated for injuries. I let out a sigh of relief as I collapsed into the arms of the small, stupid human. “It’s ok Seabass, everything is going to be ok,” she said and I wanted to believe her.
It was finally over, finally time to go back to the prison and get back to a seemingly normal life. Too much adventure was never a good thing and I felt as though we had been consumed by it for months.
The police came to the back of the ambulance and asked my humans a few questions. We were all being released and cleared to go back home. I looked over at the police cars and several henchmen were in handcuffs and pushed up against the outside of the cruisers. I looked again and silently calculated the arrested men. There was one problem…the tall, thin woman was missing from the group.
March 27, 2017-“Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?” the tall, thin woman screamed. She continued running toward us, and by this point, the large, stupid human had defeated his captor. The henchman was laying unconscious on the gravel, but there was still one to contend with. The man tried to grab for me again, but once again I bit down on him as hard as I could while Simba bit his ankle and Bernard broke free of the muzzle.
“Get him, Bernard!” I screamed as he charged at the henchman and knocked the wind out of him as he fell to the ground in a massive heap. Bernard dragged him by the coat cuff and whipped the man’s arms around viciously. He growled and snarled and spat slobber that washed over the henchman’s face. The tall, thin woman loomed over me with a huge stick. She swung it wildly, but I was able to roll out of the way just in time.
In the distance, I saw the large, stupid human grab a knife from the henchman’s utility belt and cut himself free of his restraints.He took the knife and ran towards the small, stupid human. The tall, thin woman swung at me again and missed as I rolled in the opposite direction. I knew that I couldn’t keep her at bay much longer. Bernard gnashed his teeth but couldn’t get near the stick that separated him and the tall, thin woman.
I looked for Simba but couldn’t find him. I needed him now more than ever. The henchman that was unconscious sprung to his feet and reached for his knife. “Let me do away with this one!” he said. “It’d be my pleasure,” he snarled at me.
I heard sirens in the distance. If I could hold on until they got to us, we would be saved! I was still underneath the van when I heard something up above me. Within seconds the van roared to life and suddenly my hiding place was compromised.
February 27, 2017-The door to the van slammed shut and we were immediately swarmed by the S.W.A.T team. I knew that this was a bad idea and felt sick to my stomach when I looked at the large, stupid human. He had been struck in the face and blood trickled down his forehead, three men tied his arms behind his back and his feet together.He flailed his limbs to break free but couldn’t. There were too many of them. I was restrained by two men and tried to bite at them as they hog-tied me, it was useless because I couldn’t reach them. They did the same to Bernard and Simba as I watched on in horror.
I was restrained by two men and tried to bite at them as they hog-tied me, it was useless because I couldn’t reach them. They did the same to Bernard and Simba as I watched on in horror. One of the men in the S.W.A.T. vests spoke, “This is it. You have been beaten and there is no way that you’re to get to the small, stupid human in time to save her life.”
“No! NO! NO! NO!” the large, stupid human thundered. “This is NOT going to end this way!”
There was an icy laugh from the front seat of the van and my heart almost stopped when I recognized it. The tall thin woman.
“Now now, not to worry! We ARE taking you to her…because that way you can all be together when it ends and I can make absolutely certain that I’ve done away with ALL of you.”
October 14, 2016-The inside of the truck was silent. I closed my eyes and listened closely…nothing. My heart thudded against my chest and I slowly opened my eyes. Bernard stared at me and I shook my head, “This is all my fault,” I said, “If I hadn’t gotten is into this mess in the first place this wouldn’t be happening.” Bernard didn’t offer any words of comfort and in that moment I knew that it was true. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault, deep down I knew it was.
We waited for a beat but there was still no action outside of the building. “I think I’m going to investigate…I need to know that my humans are ok,” I said solemnly. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Bernard said quietly. I hung my head,”You know, you’re right, I have done enough…maybe it’s time that I left. The humans might be better off without me,” I said. “No…I didn’t mean it like that!” Bernard said, “All I meant was that we don’t know what’s happening! With the humans, with Simba, with anything!”
It felt as though a knife was jammed into my heart as I listened to his words. They hung in the air like a thick fog and I felt breathless. “I should just…leave…then there wouldn’t be any more trouble,” I said quietly as I opened the door to the truck. “Goodbye Bernard, thanks for all of your help,” I said and I stepped out onto the pavement. “NO! Seabass, get back here, it’s not safe!” Bernard pleaded, but it was too late. I had made up my mind and no one was going to stop me.
The large, stupid human put on his running shoes after incessant nagging by the small, stupid one. I imagine that I would’ve given in as well, as there was no hope of her ever stopping until she got what she wanted.
I had a small sack packed with some essentials; my book The Great Catsby, some vittles that I had been sneaking away from the food room and storing in my lair, my grooming tool and my diary of course. I stuffed the items into a small backpack and hoisted it onto my shoulders. I was ready. I laid in wait until the large, stupid human attached a rope to Monty’s necklace; the door opened and freedom beckoned. I snuck quietly out the prison gate and victory was mine! I had made it! Misson Impossible was completed!
I stealthily hid in the bushes to remain undetected; I took off my backpack and decided that this would be my base. I would explore the outside world and return to my supplies if I needed them. At this point, the large, stupid human had become a smudge on the horizon and I decided that it would be a good time to venture out. I prowled close to the ground-there were noises that I had never heard before and things that I had never seen or smelled before, what a glorious expedition thus far!
I travelled further into uncharted territory and was soon at the base of the birch tree that stood in the prison yard; I had two choices, I could turn left at the edge of the grass or I could climb the birch tree to get a better vantage point and decide on a direction. I chose the latter and climbed the trunk of the tree, I quickly scaled to the top and perched atop a large branch…I could see everything including the large, stupid human and the canine beast who were returning from their voyage. All of the sudden the small, stupid human burst forth from the prison gate; she shouted at the large, stupid one and his canine companion, “I can’t find Seabass anywhere!” Her voice was filled with disdain. “Did you check the ceiling?” the large, stupid human asked with a smirk.
Little did they know that I was only a few feet above them and I was watching the whole thing unfold exactly how I had planned!
April 17, 2016-“I have long feared that my sins would return to haunt me, and the cost would be more than I could bear.” Whoever said that was right, for that is how I was feeling at any given moment. I knew that Simbicile was plotting something against me and I hated how my guts churned in trepidation as I waited for the proverbial axe to fall.
I was reading in my lair as usual, The Great Catsby, when I heard a noise coming from upstairs; the small, stupid human was conversing with someone at the front of the prison gate. I crept up the stairs carefully to get a better vantage point of the situation; there stood a medium sized human and a small sized human (smaller than the small, stupid one that was imprisoning me). I had seen these humans before-they controlled the prison next to ours. The smaller one was holding some kind of rope but I could not see what was at the end of it. They were horrible captors I assumed because I would oft hear howling that came from their lawn but at least the canine that they were incarcerating got an hour of yard time…we didn’t get any at all.
My captors were ghastly and they always kept the place on lockdown…until this moment. I saw a glimmer of freedom-the front prison gate was left open! This was my chance; I inched my way closer and prayed that I would go undetected. I took a deep breath and felt a pair of hands on my backside; I whipped around and there stood Simbicile…he was pushing me out the prison gate! Thoughts swirled in my mind, why the sudden sense of camaraderie? I had been horrible to him and here he was assisting my escape! I had been wrong about him, I should’ve been a better cell mate!
Little did I know that this was all part of his sinister plan to get back at me for exposing his greatest fear…