Seabass’ Diary…Day 167…Not So Fast

December 4, 2017- I crept out of the closet and returned to Simba.

“What are you doing?” Simba whispered, “There are animals in there that need saving!”

“No. There are no animals in the closet you fool!” I said with contempt.

“YES. THERE. ARE!” Simba hissed.

I shook my head and stayed silent for a moment. How was I going to get this through his thick skull?

“There are NO animals in the closet. I’ll prove it to you.”

“You’re going to have to because I’m not leaving until they’re rescued!”

I roll my eyes, “Come with me.”

I lead Simba to the closet one careful step at a time. Fear rips through with back with every sound as the floorboards creak beneath our combined weight. Thoughts of Amelia returning to capture us is enough to make me want to get out of here as fast as we can. There is no way that  I could spend another second with her; she was insane and I know that is a horrible thing to say about a little girl, but a spade is a spade.

“See? Look!” I hiss at Simba, “These are the so-called “animals” you’ve been worried about!” I gesture to the ceiling and point to the various one-piece pyjamas with various animal hoods. I still wasn’t sure how Simba made such a grievous error. Surely he knew the difference between real animals and clothing!

There are a few moments of silence before Simba speaks first, “Wait a second, so this is it? The animals that I thought were trapped in here are just pyjamas?”


“How could I be so stupid?” Simba moaned.

I wanted to agree with him, that he was reckless and didn’t have his facts straight, and put us in a position of danger, but I couldn’t bring myself to scold him.

“You’re not stupid, I would have probably done the exact same thing…I…do you hear that?” I whisper. There is a faint sound coming from down the hall; it’s meowing.






Seabass’ Diary…Day 7

Hello everyone, Sorry for the delay in my entry! The small human ran a 30 km race yesterday and is in extreme pain…she can barely sit down…But who cares about her? Certainly not I! You know why? Because she did it to herself!

April 4, 2016-Today has been uneventful. I slept in my lair for most of the day because depression has fallen  over me like a cloud on a rainy day. I have decided that I need to work on my exercise regime…in no way do I wish to look like Simbicile and I’m afraid I’m starting to get soft around the edges. I came up with an excellent exercise to improve my forepaw strength and my abdominal muscles as well; I stood in front of the new drapes and jumped as high as I could, I dug in my claws, relaxed and just hung there, suspended, high above the ground. I slowly released my back claws and pulled myself up to the top bar of the curtains. I walked along the bar and jumped to the ground…I repeated this five times.

After working up quite the appetite I went to the kitchen and followed a tantalizing aroma to a bin where the humans store their scraps of meat and other foodstuffs. I climbed inside and the bin fell sideways, it scattered a glorious buffet of meats and other delicacies onto the freshly washed floor. Simbicile tried to approach the smorgasbord but I protected the perimeter by growling deeply at him. I am quite sure that I sounded like the king of the jungle and he quickly retreated in terror, only to watch me from a distance in the dark. Let it be known that this was my revenge for the moth. I was quite curious why the small human did not attend to me…in situations like this she usually ruins all of my plans…perhaps her injuries have taken her life or broken her spirit at least…of these two things I can only hope!

I went into the humans’ litterbox room and turned on the sink faucet…I’m not sure why but I can only ever open the one that contains the hot water. I sat on the countertop and enjoyed the steam, it was absolute bliss and I enjoyed my own personal sauna time as most times I have to share with the small human. I retreated from my exhilarating steam bath and sat by the barrier. Alas, a human out for a walk with some sort of canine. I had seen this canine many times and had heard the human address the hideous creature as Cinnamon.Cinnamon is my arch nemesis…or one of the top twelve at least. I hated her with every fibre of my being. Every time she walked by I positioned myself to puff out my luxurious, shiny mane and defend my territory. I hissed and spat at the clear barrier so that Cinnamon would know she was not welcome here. It worked and she kept guiding the blind man to his destination…If only I had a stick to throw! Oh what a glorious day that would be! Stupid human…putting your life in the hands of a canine, have you no sense?! Speaking of stupid humans the small one, who makes my life a living hell,  was nowhere to be found. I dashed to her nest and there she was, fast asleep. I stepped on her face because she was blocking the only entry way to the large humans pillow. This disturbed her from her slumber and she slowly rolled out of bed. I watched her hobble like a three legged toad and mocked her! She would never be able to catch me in her condition, victory was finally mine!

Cinnamon, how I hate her…