April 22, 2016 – The small, stupid human was standing on the front stoop with her hands on her hips; she looked worried. I remained perched on the branch just a few feet above her sight line and the large, stupid human did not see me either. The wind was blowing quite fiercely so I decided to retreat to a few branches below; this was a mistake because the hell hound caught my scent and started barking. He sniffed around the base of the tree and looked up…I had been discovered!
I quickly but carefully scaled the tree to the highest branch. The idiot canine danced around the bottom of the trunk and continued to bark; he pointed his nose in the air and alerted the humans to my location. The small, stupid one called my name and tried to coax me down from the branches but I would have none of it; I would not go back to captivity without a fight!
The view was magnificent from where I sat, I could see everything! The humans were frantic and I could hear the large, stupid one speak into some sort of device; he was relaying the fact that I was in the tree top and that he could not reach me. I was quite comfortable and would not mind bunking here for the night but my plans to do so were in vain. I sat and admired the night sky for awhile when I noticed a large, red truck with a hose and a staircase had turned onto the street; it stopped right in front of the prison and a man got out. He spoke with the prison warden and she pointed in my direction. He started to manoeuvre some sort of staircase and before I knew it he was almost eye level with me.
There was nowhere for me to go but down and once I realized how high up I was I started to get dizzy. I clutched the tree and the man in the uniform gently pulled me from the branch; the small, stupid human was crying again and the man handed me over to her. TRAITOR! I heard the large, stupid human mutter something like, “I could’ve done the same thing but I don’t have a ladder that’s tall enough…” I writhed with anger in the small, stupid one’s grasp and scratched at her face, the pain was too much for her to bear and she let go of me. I raced away from her clutches and returned to my backpack to gather my things when I spotted my arch nemesis…STEPHANIE.