Seabass’ Diary…Day 156…Escape Artists

August 21, 2017-  “You’re kidding yourself if you think that I’m going to call you that,” Simba said as I ignored him.

I stared out the window for a second and gulped. The ground had to be fifteen feet below us.

“This is way too high to jump!” I said.

“Shhh! We don’t know who is still in the house so keep it down! You’re going to get us caught!” Simba said through gritted teeth.

“I’m going to get us caught? You’re the one who got us into this mess in the first place!” I remind him.

“Because you’ve never got us into trouble right? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Just forget it! Focus on how we’re going to get out of here!” I said. My mind whirled, and my eyes settled on a bunch of blankets at the end of the bed.

“Wait a second…grab me those sheets,” I commanded. Simba didn’t ask any questions as he handed me three of them.

“We’ll tie these together and use them to climb down the side of the house; secure that end to this lamp, it should hold our weight,” I said.

Simba did as I said and quickly began making knots in the sheets, “This should do it!” He said.

“Good, now throw the other end out the window!”

“You go first,”Simba said, and I didn’t hesitate. I climbed out the window and peered over the edge,”This doesn’t completely reach the ground, but at least it’s only a six-foot drop from the end.

“Better than 15!” Simba echoed.

Suddenly, the door burst open, the sound scared me half to death, and I almost jumped out of my skin. Amelia was back, and she had caught us in the midst of our escape.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 34…Secrets…

May 4, 2016-I retreated down the corridor and returned to my lair…I had no idea what to do. Should I confront Simba immediately and tell him that he needs my help? Should I assemble my own gang to perform the operation? Should I show up unexpectedly and complete a hostile take over of the mission? There were so many options! One thing I did know for sure was that they needed me-they needed me and they didn’t even know it.

I raced upstairs to the place where the stupid humans were still watching the movie. It wouldn’t be long before they would retire to their nest. The large, stupid one and the mongrel seemed in competition for who could snore the loudest; it was disheartening to know that they were the reasons for my recapture. Nevermind, I had a new goal to focus on, something else to take my attention away from my situation. Plus, I now had an escape route that led to freedom!

Simba sauntered up the stairs and tried his best to act as if he had just stirred from his slumber. I wanted to punch him in the face for betraying me like this and for thinking that he could do this on his own, but alas, I remained calm. I stared at him, if he only knew that I had discovered his plan! I decided at that moment what my course of action would be, I would show up at his operation and take over the entire thing-that way I could ensure that it would be done correctly. Besides, if he kept such secrets from me, he should be prepared for a taste of his own medicine!

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 3

March 30, 2016-Last night the large human had ham. It was agony to watch him eat it..he taunted me with every delicious bite but be sure I will exact my revenge. While the humans weren’t looking I formulated an ingenious but dangerous plan…I would steal the ham off the counter. I steadied myself on the counter and made the 20 foot leap across the room, I landed on target and pushed the plate onto the floor. Success!..but only for a moment. The small human came rushing in and pulled me away from my feast. She continues to mistreat me.

I awoke to the grasp of the small human. She and the large human have a very comfortable nest so I try to take up as much space as possible. I suppose there is a trade-off for my comfort…I must let her touch me but I insist on biting her hand every time to remind her of my power.  I vomited my breakfast on the carpet to show her my dissatisfaction with the menu that never varies…I also think that she is trying to poison me. I watch her scrub the carpet and while she is doing this I climb onto her back to get a better vantage point and to look for a possible escape route. My father Simba and I are served small, dry nuggets each morning at varying times due to the small human’s laziness. I’ve retreated to my lair because I know that the humans will not be able to reach me on the highest shelf of the laundry room. There is a window and sometimes a squirrel that I watch…oh if only I were free like him to frolic in the afternoon breeze…his very being reminds me of my oppression. I hate him. Today I shall try and sleep away the horror of this place and escape into my dreams of a better life.

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The deplorable conditions of my current lodgings…look away.