Seabass’ Diary… Day 155…Prince of Darkness

You didn’t think I forgot to write this post, did you? ūüôā I’ve been saving it for Black Cat Appreciation Day which is today; Talk about a great way to celebrate with my black, house panther Seabass and his diary of adventure!

August 17, 2017-I stared at Simba for a second and waited for the sound of footsteps thudding down the staircase to cease; I had to be sure that Amelia wasn’t returning.

I counted to ten and then blew out a sigh, “This is insanity!” I shouted. “We are literally being held captive by a child! A CHILD!” I repeated. “By the way, you look ridiculous!” I snorted at Simba.

“I look ridiculous…really?” Simba said and rolled his eyes so hard that I was certain they would fall right out of his head and onto the floor.

“Nevermind, get this off of me and let’s get out of here before she gets back!” I hissed.

I jumped out of the carriage, and Simba followed suit. The pink pyjamas tangled around my feet and I fell flat on my face. “Don’t even…” I said as I glared at Simba who was covering his mouth with both paws as he tried to force the laughter back down to his gut. He could tell by the look on my face that I wasn’t kidding.

“Hold still!” He commanded as he tugged on the zipper of the pink pyjamas. “It’s stuck.”

“What do you mean it’s stuck?” I said.

“I mean it’s stuck, your hair is stuck in between the teeth of the zipper; I can’t get it down!”

I started to panic. The only way I was getting out of these pyjamas was with the assistance of someone else. Amelia zipped me up so that the zipper was on my back and not in the front and there was no way I could reach it by myself.

“We need to get out of here!” Simba said as he slid the blue, frilly night gown over his head and tossed it into the corner. I knew he was trying to annoy me on purpose by doing this, but I ignored his feeble attempt at humour.

“And how do you suppose we do that? The door is shut, and we can’t reach the doorknob.” ¬†He was really starting to get under my skin.

“The window,” Simba said as he pointed to the sill. He jumped up gracefully, took out his sharpest claw and slashed an opening in the screen that we could both fit through.

“After you My Lady,” Simba said with a stupid grin plastered across his face.

“You shall address me properly…I am His Lordship or The Prince of Darkness,” I spat as I brushed a pink frill out of my face and headed for the window.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 154…Not so Fast!

August 7, 2017-Amelia squealed with delight. She brought me over to a full-length mirror and said, “You’re such a pretty kitty!” ¬†I stared back at my reflection; I looked absolutely ridiculous and hated myself for letting her humiliate me this way.

She placed me into some sort of carriage that is used for human babies and shoved a pacifier in my mouth. I’m not going to lie; I didn’t hate it. She left me, and I watched as she waltzed across the room to capture Simba. Finally, it was his turn.

I watched as Amelia struggled to lift him because of his girth and chuckled inwardly at the stupid look plastered on his face; it was half terror, half repentance for laughing at me earlier.

While Amelia was distracted I looked around the room for the best possible exit; it would not be an easy escape, especially if we had to run right past her. Simba and I leaving separately was not an option; there was no way any one of us was getting left behind, it was just too dangerous. Who knew what Amelia was capable of? We’ve already seen what a monster she is, and that was a chance that I wasn’t willing to take.

Suddenly, as Amelia was lifting a sky blue princess dress over Simba’s arms and head, there was shouting from downstairs!

“Amelia! Time to go to Grandma’s!” the voice shouted from the bottom of the stairs. Our saviour! We would finally be free! My heart leaped out of my chest, and I could see the relief flood Simba’s face; soon this nightmare would be over!

“Coming mom!” Amelia shouted. She finished her work on Simba and looked at us menacingly and said, “You stay here kitties, I’ll be back soon.”

She plunked Simba down in the carriage with me and shut the bedroom door.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 148…Change of Direction

June 12, 2017-Dog had his arm around my throat, and I could feel the cool metal from the switchblade against my skin. It was now or never, and if I didn’t do this right, I would be in serious medical trouble.

I glanced over at Simba one more time and gave him a quick nod. I grabbed Dog’s forearm with both hands and clamped down on him with all of the force in my jaw! I bit down until I tasted blood.

“AHHHHHHHHH!” Dog screamed. He simultaneously dropped the blade and released me. Hugo turned around, his eyes were filled with fury, and he loomed over top of us.

“RUN!” I yelled to Simba, and we¬†both started sprinting in the same direction.

I heard a loud THUMP and turned to look back; Hugo was slithering toward us with great speed, and I knew that it would be a matter of seconds before he caught up to us. Dog was seething with anger as he gave chase, I could hear his heavy breathing and see the blood dripping from the place that I had wounded him.

“Follow me!” Simba commanded, and he turned on his heels in the opposite direction.

I obeyed and glanced behind us again, Dog’s feet skidded under him as he tried to pivot directions. He lost his footing and slid on the grass for a few seconds before regaining his momentum.

“Please tell me you have a plan!” I laboured. My breath was short, and my heart was pumping hard.

Simba’s eyes darted from side to side, and I knew that he was looking for an escape route. Hugo was gaining on us, and I could almost feel the thunder of dog’s footsteps closing in on us.

“Quick, in here!” Simba gasped as he grabbed me by the collar and pulled me into darkness.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 144 …Fortune Favours the Bold

May 15, 2017- I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach. Hugo just wasn’t any enemy; he was the most hated and most feared adversary that Simba and I had ever encountered.

Hugo was right up there with the tall, thin woman, Edgardo, and Vacuum (pronounced VA KOOM) when it came to listing our biggest fears. Well, I should mention that I am not afraid of Vacuum, Simba is. But I will readily admit that I am afraid of the other things.

We reached the top of the platform, and the elevator doors opened. We stepped out into the light and Simba gave us the signal. Dog and I would go around to the backyard and Simba would go around the front. This was a horrible plan in my opinion because the only thing Hugo hated more than us, was being cornered.

I was on high alert. My heart was racing, and my head was pounding, and I could hear the blood rush through my ears. I looked at Dog. He had no idea what we were in for if we lost this battle. We would have to ensure that this take-over went according to plan or we would pay for it dearly, possibly even with our lives.

I scanned the yard and motioned Dog to go to the West corner of the backyard while I took the East. I was thankful that he understood hand signals and I would have to ask him how he got wrapped up in this kind of life.

“SNAP.” I heard the breaking of a branch behind me and my breath caught in my throat. I slowly turned around and prayed that it was nothing. The reflection of the moon dripped over the image that enveloped me in its shadow; It was Hugo, and all I could see were his glistening white fangs.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 141…FBI

April 24, 2017-I shifted my weight. I already knew that he wasn’t who I thought he was, he was only reiterating the fact.

“Ok, then why don’t you go ahead and tell me who you are,” I said firmly.

“You don’t need to get upset; who I am doesn’t change anything,” Simba said.

“Then why are you stalling?” I said and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Come with me, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can show you,” he said, and I followed him to the prison library. I had been in the library a million times not a thing was out of place and to be frank, it was boring. Books lived here, from floor¬†to ceiling. Odd books, rare books, textbooks and the classics. This was the place where the small, stupid human tapped away at her keyboard, while I sat on it to be a pain. I loved putting myself in front of whatever she was doing because this was a clear message that I was in charge; it worked every time because she always stopped what she was doing to pick me up and pet me.

I followed Simba to the back corner of the library and watched as he shuffled some books around like a puzzle. My eyes grew wider when I realized what was happening.

“Stand back,” he said, and for once I obeyed him. A large portion of the wall began to creak and groan, and with a giant “THUMP” it opened to reveal a staircase.

I swallowed hard,”What is this place?” Simba ignored me, picked up a lit torch and led us into the darkness.

We finally reached an iron gate with a scanner on the wall. Simba held up his left paw, and we were granted access.

I blinked quickly because I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was this real? Was it true?

“Welcome to headquarters, I’m special agent Simba Mufasa of the FBI,” he said.

“The Federal Bureau of Investigation?” I squeaked.

“No, the FELINE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION,” he said as he flashed his badge.

The walls closed in on me, and the world went black.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 113…Evidence

August 30, 2016- I paced back and forth as I tried to think of anything we could do to find the small human and alert the large one. I was fresh out of ideas so I let Simba have the floor. “Do you have any ideas?” I asked. He paused for a moment.”What if we…no. Nevermind,” Simba said sullenly. I could tell that he was quickly starting to lose hope and that I would have to be the one to think of something.

I looked around my lair for inspiration.¬†My eyes scanned the room and came up with nothing…this was going to be difficult. “If I were a madman hell bent on revenge, where would I take someone?” I said as I tried to put myself into Henri’s shoes. “We need to go back upstairs…I feel like we missed something.” Simba did as I said and we entered the dining room once again. This time we were more thorough in our search. I glanced at the chloroform soaked rag that was still crumpled on the floor and decided to get a better vantage point. There were obvious signs of a struggle and my heart skipped a beat.

I jumped onto the table and looked around. A few papers, the resume that Henri brought and…a cell phone. “Simba, quick! Get up here, I think I found something!” I said. “What is it?” he asked. I pointed to the cell phone, “I think that it was recording the interview! I think that we may have video evidence of what happened to the small human!” ¬†Simba’s eyes widened and I his face was wrought with worry, “What are we going to do with it? How do we get it to the police ?” I thought for a second. “Wait! That’s it!” I had watched the small human call the large one a hundred times on this device. I knew that if we pressed the number 1 that it would dial his number. It was worth a shot. “Number 1 connects to the large human…I’ve seen it many times before!” I said to Simba.

I pressed the number 1 and nothing happened. I fiddled around with the screen but it was no use, I couldn’t figure it out. A few seconds later the phone rang…it showed ADAM on the screen…that was the large human’s name! He was trying to call her! I took a deep breath and pressed the answer button. “Yell as loud as you can!” I instructed Simba and we both started screaming.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 105…Let’s Do This!

August 18, 2016-The prison was silent. I glanced at my watch it was precisely 2:32 am. I took a deep breath and listened to the front lock unlatch. She was here…it was the tall, thin human and she was right on time. The door opened and the glare of a flashlight scanned the darkness; light passed over us and I set my watch for 30 seconds.

Bandit punched in the numbers 911 on his cell phone and put it on mute. He slid it under the couch and hoped that the operator could hear what was happening as our plan unfolded. I straightened my wig and the timer on my watch went off, “ATTACK!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and I charged at the tall, thin human. Bandit flipped on the lights and the next few moments passed in slow motion like a beautiful, disastrous dance.

The tall, thin human’s mouth gaped open in horror as she looked on in disbelief. I pivoted and grabbed Stinky. His weave blew beautifully behind him as I snatched him up and carried him to the top of the couch. I turned him around, lifted his tail and aimed it at the tall, thin human. “Say hello to my Stinky friend!” I shouted and he farted so hard. The stench filled the room and the tall, thin human screamed in terror. She clutched her eyes and Bandit began phase 2. He jumped on her back and started biting; she fell to her knees and the other animals jumped on the front and back of her.

What a sight to behold! Animals wearing wigs covered the tall, thin human; she tried to peel them off of her but it was no use. Stinky and I fled out the front door and ran to the black getaway car; he jabbed a shank into each tire and the air squealed out as they flattened. I ran back into the prison and saw that the next phase had been completed. The animals had made a chain with their wigs and had secured the tall, thin human. Her hands and feet were bound and a long brown wig covered her face. I heard the sounds of sirens getting closer and it was time for my comrades to scatter.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 92…Trouble…

July 29, 2016-I turned around and saw that Hannah was still following us. The tall, thin woman and Edgardo had returned to their car and were trying to start it…soon they became just a speck in the distance. We all huddled close to Grandpa as we continued at top speed on the main road.

“We need to get to a police station!” Grandpa said, “As soon as I tell them what happened, they’ll help us!” I hoped that his statement was true but I couldn’t help but wonder if showing up in a stolen vehicle would have any bearing on the outcome of our fate. It was a crime of necessity-rare but true in this case. The sound of sirens gaining on us split through my ears…this could be our lucky break.

I had a strange feeling about this, I knew that we should pull over but something told me to keep going. Grandpa pulled the truck to a stop at the side of the road and jumped out of the truck-he went to tell the policeman everything that had happened. As he walked toward the cruiser the knot in my stomach pulled tighter and I hoped my eyes were deceiving me…the officer looked a lot like Henri. I watched as Grandpa stopped dead in his tracks; he must’ve thought the same thing because he turned on his heels and ran to the truck in a full out sprint.

Henri followed suit; he tried to tackle Grandpa but missed by a hair. Grandpa just made it back to the truck with Henri hot on his heels, just as he reached for the door, Henri made contact. Grandpa fell to the ground with a tremendous THUMP and the dust flew. I watched in horror as their bodies twisted in a thundering heap and I knew that I needed to take action.

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Seabass’Diary…Day 29…The Aftermath

Monty¬†snarled at me and bared his teeth; I had infuriated him and the best part was that he could not reach me under the nest. His massive body excluded him from tiny spaces but I was like liquid; I could seep into any spot and take on its shape…it was just another awesome feature of being me! He yelled at me¬†but we do not speak the same language so I could not understand a thing he was saying. Perhaps this is why our species does not get along.

I imagined that the aftermath of our foot race ¬†was extraordinary, I did not look back to see the destruction but I heard glass drop to the floor…my assault on Monty was just the beginning! I could hear the humans unlocking the front door and waited with anticipation; I could barely contain myself, I wanted to hear them chastise the poor mutt. Monty heard the front door open as well and then something astonishing happened…Monty climbed up onto the nest and pretended to be asleep! How dare he! Why was he not greeting the humans like usual? Normally he shook his entire backside and ran in circles upon their arrival-what was happening?

I froze and waited, surely the stupid humans were not that…well…stupid. A huge gasp was¬†heard down the hall and finally, “MONTY!” was yelled; the word thundered through the house! Boy, was he in for it, I just hoped that I could sneak out and witness the punishment. Monty did not move from his post. He laid on the nest and kept his eyes closed; his name was called again.¬†He ignored the humans request to go to them and that is when I heard the sound urgent footsteps-they were coming for us.

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