Seabass’ Diary…Day 22…

April 19, 2016- I sat in the corner of the room and seethed with anger. How dare the small, stupid human allow entry to this filthy mongrel? She was a terrible human and a terrible warden at that; alas, I would not stand for it.

Simbicile and Monty were in the food room bonding over bowls of feed, it seemed as though they had been old friends for years. Wait a minute…could it be that Simbicile asked for the prisoner to be transferred here so that he would have an ally against me? I sunk my claws into the leather sofa and shredded the corner of it while I thought. I was becoming more and more paranoid but for good reason.

My observation continued and I watched as Simbicile purred and rubbed his face against the hound…what a jerk! At that moment my hatred for the both of them became white hot and I knew that I needed to do something before I exploded in anger. I jumped onto the counter above where they were feasting and surveyed the situation; a cleaver, a bottle of wine and a pan of  roasted chicken taunted me. I licked the chicken for a moment to steady my nerves when suddenly I heard footsteps in the stairway. I had to act quickly! I shoved the pan of chicken off of the counter and it hit the filthy animal square on the top of the head-SUCCESS!

I imagine that if this were a cartoon, a halo of stars would adorn him after such a blow! Monty and Simbicile looked at the chicken and started to feast, they licked at the juices and joyously feasted. Monty dragged the chicken across the food room floor and onto the living room carpet where he laid comfortably in front of the fireplace. I quickly jumped off the counter and sped down the hallway to my hiding place, I would miss the action but I would not implicate myself in the crime this way. When I was safely tucked away I heard the small, stupid human shout, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” My plan was starting to come together!

I happily relinquished my spot in order to implicate Monty in a crime…

Seabass’ Diary…Day 7

Hello everyone, Sorry for the delay in my entry! The small human ran a 30 km race yesterday and is in extreme pain…she can barely sit down…But who cares about her? Certainly not I! You know why? Because she did it to herself!

April 4, 2016-Today has been uneventful. I slept in my lair for most of the day because depression has fallen  over me like a cloud on a rainy day. I have decided that I need to work on my exercise regime…in no way do I wish to look like Simbicile and I’m afraid I’m starting to get soft around the edges. I came up with an excellent exercise to improve my forepaw strength and my abdominal muscles as well; I stood in front of the new drapes and jumped as high as I could, I dug in my claws, relaxed and just hung there, suspended, high above the ground. I slowly released my back claws and pulled myself up to the top bar of the curtains. I walked along the bar and jumped to the ground…I repeated this five times.

After working up quite the appetite I went to the kitchen and followed a tantalizing aroma to a bin where the humans store their scraps of meat and other foodstuffs. I climbed inside and the bin fell sideways, it scattered a glorious buffet of meats and other delicacies onto the freshly washed floor. Simbicile tried to approach the smorgasbord but I protected the perimeter by growling deeply at him. I am quite sure that I sounded like the king of the jungle and he quickly retreated in terror, only to watch me from a distance in the dark. Let it be known that this was my revenge for the moth. I was quite curious why the small human did not attend to me…in situations like this she usually ruins all of my plans…perhaps her injuries have taken her life or broken her spirit at least…of these two things I can only hope!

I went into the humans’ litterbox room and turned on the sink faucet…I’m not sure why but I can only ever open the one that contains the hot water. I sat on the countertop and enjoyed the steam, it was absolute bliss and I enjoyed my own personal sauna time as most times I have to share with the small human. I retreated from my exhilarating steam bath and sat by the barrier. Alas, a human out for a walk with some sort of canine. I had seen this canine many times and had heard the human address the hideous creature as Cinnamon.Cinnamon is my arch nemesis…or one of the top twelve at least. I hated her with every fibre of my being. Every time she walked by I positioned myself to puff out my luxurious, shiny mane and defend my territory. I hissed and spat at the clear barrier so that Cinnamon would know she was not welcome here. It worked and she kept guiding the blind man to his destination…If only I had a stick to throw! Oh what a glorious day that would be! Stupid human…putting your life in the hands of a canine, have you no sense?! Speaking of stupid humans the small one, who makes my life a living hell,  was nowhere to be found. I dashed to her nest and there she was, fast asleep. I stepped on her face because she was blocking the only entry way to the large humans pillow. This disturbed her from her slumber and she slowly rolled out of bed. I watched her hobble like a three legged toad and mocked her! She would never be able to catch me in her condition, victory was finally mine!

Cinnamon, how I hate her…

Seabass’ Diary…Day 2

March 29, 2016-A bird taunts me this morning as I look out onto the front lawn. He sits there…smugly eating some sort of seed. Perhaps he realizes that we are separated by a clear barrier and I am unable to harm him…this is my prison and I long to explore the outside world. It gets worse here everyday…This morning, the smaller human picked me up and cuddled me…oh how I hate her. She would not even share a morsel of her breakfast with me even though she sees how emaciated I am. My father, who the humans call Simba, is my only hope at true entertainment.I practice my hunting skills on him with the dream that one day I will finally be set free. I stalk him.When he is unsuspecting I pounce and then retreat…he runs after me but alas he is too chubby to catch me. A few days ago I locked him in the closet where the bath towels are kept. The smaller human let him out when he alerted her by scratching at the door. My plan to take over as the alpha cat has failed but I will try again soon. I tried to injure the smaller human today by weaving in and out of her legs while she took a basket of laundry to the basement…I was hoping that I could escape while she lay on the floor unconscious from the fall…but again…I have failed. I suppose that tomorrow is another day…but I am unsure of how much more of this I can bear.