Simon’s Cat…Christmas Checklist

December 1, 2017-On Fridays, we watch Simon’s cat!

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 165…A Perfect Distraction

November 6, 2017- “What’s your plan?” I said to the rodent.

“The plan is, we’ll create a distraction outside of the main door. When the humans come out to investigate, you guys can sneak right in. We’ll meet you upstairs.”

“So wait one second, you’re not even going to help us?” Simba asked

The rodent looked at his friend and then glared at me, “We ARE helping, by creating the distraction!”

I glanced at Simba and could tell that he was thinking the same thing that I was, if we were going to help the other animals, it was entirely up to the two of us. We couldn’t depend on anyone else to do what we do best, which is search and rescue.

“Alright, fine! We’ll do all of the work.” Simba muttered. “Lives are hanging in the balance, and we’re out here squabbling and wasting time!”

“Ready?” I asked the rodents.

“What, now?” they said with their mouths gaping open in unison

“Yes now! When were you thinking?”

“Nevermind. Alright, let’s do this.”

Without another word from any of us, the rodents climbed the front steps of the porch and started banging on the main door.  Simba and I waited behind a potted plant.

All of the sudden the door flew open and a large human came out. He looked around for where the noise had come from and his eyes finally settled on the rodents scrapping it out on the welcome mat.

“What in the world?” He said, “Babe, you gotta come see this!”

Simba and I didn’t stick around to see what happened next, we ran into the house as fast as our legs would carry us. We couldn’t risk being seen.

We raced up the staircase to Amelia’s room and hid under the bed.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 163…A Slight Problem

October 23, 2017- The rodent and I scrambled down the stairs and back out the front door that we had left open. We hurried to the backyard to meet the recently freed captives.

“Are you ok?” I said to Simba as I embraced him in a manly way.

“Yes, it was…it was…”

“Why are you shaking?” I asked. I was very concerned with the way he was behaving and wondered what had taken place in my absence.

“I don’t want to relive it…I’ll tell you one day when I’m ready,” Simba said.

I looked at the two rodents, and the one who had just been released was also quite terrified it seemed. His eyes were as wide as saucers, and his lower lip quivered when he spoke.

“There are more,” Simba whispered.

“What?” I said.

“There are more…of us.”

I decided to be patient with him; Afterall, he had just experienced a horrible ordeal.

“What do you mean more of us?” I asked.

“He’s right! There are many more…at least four more creatures…in the closet,” the rodent said.

“Wait for a second, there are more animals in Amelia’s room?” I shuddered at the thought.

“Yes, that’s why we must go back in to rescue them!” Simba said.

I stood there with my hands on my hips and blew out a sigh, “There is NO WAY that we are going back in there. You were just given a gift of escaping the clutches of Amelia with your lives, and now you want to go back in? Are you kidding me?”

And with that, Simba fainted.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 162…Free at last!

October 16, 2017- I stood there frozen for a split second before I sprang into action.

“Just do what I tell you to do!” I shouted at the rodent-type creature behind me as we raced up the stairs to Amelia’s room.

The door to Amelia’s bedroom was flung open, and there was a larger human standing in the doorway. I motioned for the rodent to hide and I did the same as we listened to the conversation that was taking place mere feet away from us.

“Amelia! What in the world were you thinking? You CANNOT and MUST NOT let stray animals or wildlife into the house! These animals could bite you or worse!”

Excellent, I thought to myself, scare the small human into letting her captives go! Why didn’t I think of that…Oh, yeah-because I can’t communicate with the humans in their language.

“But MOOOOOMMMMM the kitty and the mouse didn’t bite me-they’re my friends!” Amelia shrieked and stomped her foot.

I watched as Simba shook his head furiously in disagreement about being friends with her. He’d naturally been subjected to another costume change and was wearing a princess’ dress and a bedazzled tiara. Of all the times to be without my phone, this was one of the worst; I was missing a tremendous opportunity to blackmail him.

“Amelia Marie, that is absolutely NOT acceptable or allowed. I’m not going to tell you this again! NO ANIMALS IN THE HOUSE!” the mother reprimanded her.

Amelia began to cry as the woman picked up Simba very carefully. She acted as if he were about to explode. She freed him from the princess’ dress and the crown and also freed the rodent’s friend from a clear cage.

“Now SHOO!” the woman commanded as she guided Simba and the rodent to the back patio door and granted them their escape.

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Seabass’ Diary…Day 141…FBI

April 24, 2017-I shifted my weight. I already knew that he wasn’t who I thought he was, he was only reiterating the fact.

“Ok, then why don’t you go ahead and tell me who you are,” I said firmly.

“You don’t need to get upset; who I am doesn’t change anything,” Simba said.

“Then why are you stalling?” I said and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Come with me, I can’t tell you exactly, but I can show you,” he said, and I followed him to the prison library. I had been in the library a million times not a thing was out of place and to be frank, it was boring. Books lived here, from floor to ceiling. Odd books, rare books, textbooks and the classics. This was the place where the small, stupid human tapped away at her keyboard, while I sat on it to be a pain. I loved putting myself in front of whatever she was doing because this was a clear message that I was in charge; it worked every time because she always stopped what she was doing to pick me up and pet me.

I followed Simba to the back corner of the library and watched as he shuffled some books around like a puzzle. My eyes grew wider when I realized what was happening.

“Stand back,” he said, and for once I obeyed him. A large portion of the wall began to creak and groan, and with a giant “THUMP” it opened to reveal a staircase.

I swallowed hard,”What is this place?” Simba ignored me, picked up a lit torch and led us into the darkness.

We finally reached an iron gate with a scanner on the wall. Simba held up his left paw, and we were granted access.

I blinked quickly because I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was this real? Was it true?

“Welcome to headquarters, I’m special agent Simba Mufasa of the FBI,” he said.

“The Federal Bureau of Investigation?” I squeaked.

“No, the FELINE BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION,” he said as he flashed his badge.

The walls closed in on me, and the world went black.

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The World’s Richest Cats…#1

http://www.kqzyfj.com/click-8310091-12913348

April 19, 2017-So #1 on the list is not what you’d expect and maybe some of you won’t be too happy with me, but I believe that first place on the list goes to…

All of the cats that have loving homes. Sure they may not have an inheritance worth millions and they may not have merchandise or be celebrities or have a television show, but what they do have is a family that loves them. They have a warm and comfortable home with the occasional cat treat or toy and once in a while maybe even some catnip. There are pictures of them on the wall or the mantle and the ones who have crossed the rainbow bridge are forever memorialized in a special spot in the yard or in an urn in the china cabinet.

They have a warm and comfortable home with the occasional cat treat or toy and once in a while maybe even some catnip. There are pictures of them on the wall or the mantle and the ones who have crossed the rainbow bridge are forever memorialized in a special spot in the yard or in the china cabinet.

They’ve got people that care about them who are foster parents and those who care about them so much that they’re willing to drop off bags of food or piles of blankets to shelters that house them. People who go out of their way to sponsor their kennel and people who tirelessly raise money to support the homeless, feral, scared, injured cats all over the world.

Maybe cats with loving homes aren’t the world’s richest cats in a monetary or material sense and maybe, WE, their caretakers are the richest ones for having them as our moral and ethical responsibilities. We are the wealthiest above all because we have their love and they have ours.

Thank you to each and every one of you that save lives and make a difference for these animals all over the world. God Bless.

LLB

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World’s Richest Cats…Number 2…Hello Kitty

April 12, 2017- The second cat on the list of World’s Richest Cat is none other than Hello Kitty who rakes in approximately SEVEN BILLION dollars a year. Whoa! That’s a lot of tuna! Sure, she may be fictitious but her earning power is real. Hello Kitty’s fortune has been amassed by selling merchandise, licensing deals, t-shirts, jewelry, books, stickers and more. Hello Kitty has also done her fair share of charity work. In 2014 she teamed up with famed, master pastry chef Pierre Herme for Macaron Day to help raise money for children fighting serious diseases.

Hats off to Hello Kitty for being philanthropic and working for such amazing causes. Keep up the good work! Stay tuned for Number 1…coming next Wednesday!

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World’s Richest Cats…Number 3

April 6, 2017-The tale of Tommaso the cat is a true rags-to-riches story! The stray black beauty was homeless on the streets of Rome when Maria Assunta, the widow of a successful real estate tycoon, took him in.

As her health began to fail Maria, who had no children, knew that she needed to find Tommaso someone who loved him as much as she did so she instructed her attorneys to find an animal welfare association who would look after him. When they were unable to find such a place with the right person, Maria left all of her money to Tommaso via her nurse Stefania who cared for her until the day she passed away. Stefania’s last name has never been disclosed in order to protect her identity, Tommaso’s identity and to foil any attempts at kidnapping or ransom orders.

She left her $133 million dollar fortune to her beloved kitty Tommaso when she died at the age of 94. The feline’s newfound riches include cash, as well as properties in Rome, Milan and land in Calabria.

I’m so glad Tommaso found a loving home with someone who wanted to give him the world!

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The World’s Richest Cats…Number 4

March 22, 2017-WOW! This next cat is one of my favourite cats of all time. It’s funny because I thought that she would be way closer to the top of the list. You probably know her really well!

Number 4 on the list of The World’s Richest Cats is none other than GRUMPY CAT! YAY! Tardar Sauce is her real name, and her unique look is caused by feline dwarfism and an underbite. Her birthday is April 4, 2012, and she was born in Arizona. Grumpy cat is a viral sensation and an international superstar whose net worth is said to be around $100 million! That’s a lot of zeros! She’s been the star of her own movies and countless endorsements, has a sponsorship with Friskies and let’s not forget about the merchandise she loans her grumpy look to. I don’t know about you but I love her grumpy face and I absolutely LOVE Grumpy Cat. I’m glad to see her on the list!

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The World’s Richest Cats!…Part 1 of 5

Hi Furriends, I’m excited about this segment and a little jealous, to be honest. Let’s face it, these furry felines have and make more money than most of us combined! Check out number 5 on the list of The World’s Richest Cats…

#5-Choupette Lagerfeld:

Yes, this stunning, three-year-old Birman beauty owns famed designer Karl Lagerfeld. According to the fashion guru himself, last year Choupette earned $3 million dollars! She has a book that’s already been released as well as a make-up collection (for humans I assume). When she’s not working, she likes to play on her i-pad and boss her two maids around. Geez, talk about living large! Choupette absolutely refuses to do “food-stuffs” commercials because it is completely beneath her according to Lagerfeld who says, “She’s too sophisticated for that.”

You can’t tell me that after reading this that it’s not a cat’s world! Stay tuned for number 4 on the list that will return next Wednesday.

 

LLB