August 18, 2016-The prison was silent. I glanced at my watch it was precisely 2:32 am. I took a deep breath and listened to the front lock unlatch. She was here…it was the tall, thin human and she was right on time. The door opened and the glare of a flashlight scanned the darkness; light passed over us and I set my watch for 30 seconds.
Bandit punched in the numbers 911 on his cell phone and put it on mute. He slid it under the couch and hoped that the operator could hear what was happening as our plan unfolded. I straightened my wig and the timer on my watch went off, “ATTACK!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and I charged at the tall, thin human. Bandit flipped on the lights and the next few moments passed in slow motion like a beautiful, disastrous dance.
The tall, thin human’s mouth gaped open in horror as she looked on in disbelief. I pivoted and grabbed Stinky. His weave blew beautifully behind him as I snatched him up and carried him to the top of the couch. I turned him around, lifted his tail and aimed it at the tall, thin human. “Say hello to my Stinky friend!” I shouted and he farted so hard. The stench filled the room and the tall, thin human screamed in terror. She clutched her eyes and Bandit began phase 2. He jumped on her back and started biting; she fell to her knees and the other animals jumped on the front and back of her.
What a sight to behold! Animals wearing wigs covered the tall, thin human; she tried to peel them off of her but it was no use. Stinky and I fled out the front door and ran to the black getaway car; he jabbed a shank into each tire and the air squealed out as they flattened. I ran back into the prison and saw that the next phase had been completed. The animals had made a chain with their wigs and had secured the tall, thin human. Her hands and feet were bound and a long brown wig covered her face. I heard the sounds of sirens getting closer and it was time for my comrades to scatter.