June 15, 2016-The journey to hell was insufferable but we arrived at precisely 10:00 am according to my calculations which are always correct. There was a long winding driveway to the hotel and copious amounts of trees littered the front yard-it could have been a beautiful place if not for what was lurking at the end of the road.
There stood a monstrosity of a building adorned with windows as far as the eye could see. “Loook at this you guys! Wow!” Grandpa said as he pulled up to the front of the entrance. A man dressed in a tuxedo came to the side of the car and traded places with Grandpa…I could only make out the letters V-A-L-E-T on a sign before we were whisked away by another man in a tuxedo as Grandpa followed swiftly behind us.
The entrance was quite…stunning to say the least. There was some sort of indoor pool that had a fountain and crystal chandeliers decorated the ceiling in several places. The smell of fresh catnip was intoxicating and classical music played softly in the background. It was definitely pleasing to my highly developed senses. An extremely thin human dressed head to toe in Dior came to greet us, “Good Morning Monsieur! Checking in? Right dis way!” She said in a french accent.
She was absolutely delightful and looked just like a villain out of a superhero movie! I looked at Simba and he was not impressed by any means-it’s funny how I was so opposed to coming here and Simba was so excited and now the tables had turned. She led us to a private room and gave a glass of champagne to Grandpa, “Please sign here, here, here, initial here, and sign here,” she said. “And this must be Simba and Sebastien…oh mon Dieux…” she said pointing at Simba, “that one is how do you say…chubby?” Grandpa smirked and drank his champagne. “We can remedy that no problem! Henri? Come!” she chirped and a man appeared to the snap of her finger. Simba looked at me and said, “I don’t like this…not one bit.”