June 7, 2017- I charged our potential captor and used his chest as a springboard; I flew through the air and caught a glimpse of Bandit as he raced between his legs and down the stairs. We made it! We scurried into the secret corridor and said a quick goodbye, “I’ll miss you!” “Until we meet again!” and with those words Bandit vanished into the night.
Little did I know that the large, stupid human had followed right behind me and witnessed the entire escape; now he knew about the secret corridor and my dreams of keeping the entire operation were no longer under wraps. I curled into a magnificent ball of majesty and hissed at him; there was no way that I was ever going to go anywhere with him for as long as he lived…which by my calculations would not be long if I got my way. The large, stupid human bellowed for our grandpa, “DAD! I need you to come in here!”
Grandpa entered my lair and the large, stupid human showed him the hole to the outside world. I wondered where the small, stupid human was and my question was answered. The large, stupid one turned to Grandpa and said, “Lacey is taking the flight out that I’m supposed to be on…I’m going to take the next available and meet her there, will you please fix this AND MAKE SURE THERE IS NO WILDLIFE LIVING IN MY HOUSE WHEN I GET BACK!” He shouted loudly and the prison walls shook, “AND MAKE SURE THIS CAT DOESN’T GET INTO ANY MORE TROUBLE!” He glared at me and I wondered why he was so angry…was it because his hair was still plastered with cake? Or that icing had dried to his face and was holding one eyelid shut?
These questions were not of my concern and to be honest, I didn’t really care until I heard Grandpa say, “So what should I do; take them to my house for the week?” The large, stupid human turned to him and said, “Check them into a pet hotel…they can be someone else’s problem.”