April 13, 2016- Victory was mine and my evil plan was working! I had made the small, stupid human believe that it was Simba who caused the mass destruction! I jumped down from her shoulder and sauntered down the hallway to the food room and the human and I parted ways but Simbicile followed me.
I sat splendidly, in all of my glory, in front of my food dish. I knew Simbicile would want a word with me and I was prepared. “What the hell was that?” He asked me in an angry tone. I smiled sweetly and licked my paw, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I answered in my most pleasant voice. He stood nose to nose with me and glared into my stunning, emerald eyes and hissed, “YOU are the one who made the mess, NOT Me, but I took the blame for it!” I chuckled and said, “I did nothing of the sort! How dare you accuse me of doing such a thing?” I could barely contain my laughter! At this point Simbicile was very angry and his breath quickened, he showed his teeth to me and growled.
I could hear the small, stupid human coming down the hallway so I put my plan into action. I swatted Simbicile across the face as hard as I could and ran a few steps away. This enraged him and he tackled me to the floor, he bit me on the jugular and I screamed at the top of my lungs! The small, stupid human rushed over and rescued me from his murderous grip, I whimpered for effect when she held me and she stroked me softly. I rubbed against her face, (desperate times call for desperate measures) and purred. “Simba! That’s enough!” she shouted at him. His eyes got wild with indignation and I could see he was about to snap…my evil plan was unfurling exactly how I wanted it to!
It could have all ended here if Simbicile was a little brighter but of course it didn’t. The small, stupid human released me from her grasp and Simba took a step towards me, I pretended to cower in fear and the small, stupid human addressed him again, “That’s enough!” She turned around and I witnessed one of the most magnificent events that would ensure my innocence…I couldn’t believe what I saw….