April 2, 2016- It is finally Caturday. This morning I’m feeling quite satisfied because last night there was a wonderful stroke of luck…the large human left the milk out. Because I am quite cunning, I pretended not to notice. I did not want to alert the humans to their fatal error. After the humans retired to their nest, I jumped atop the counter. To my surprise there was also a fresh, uncovered, half stick of butter. I ate the butter first. Simbicile, that’s my nickname for my father,watched the events unfold and did nothing. I took pity on him and threw the milk carton to the floor and we feasted long into the night. It did not build camaraderie between us for we drank in silence…I prefer it that way. I slept like I have never slept before…sleep, glorious sleep, which has eluded me for so long, had finally come.
I crept into the humans nest…I saw a sudden movement. I attacked with full force and the small human wailed out in agony. She shouted my name and grabbed her lower paw. I drew blood and this finally got the lazy human out of the nest. The large human did not move..I did not check to see if he was dead, but I hoped so with all of my heart. As the small human retreated to clean her wounds, I made myself comfortable. The small human shouted again but this time it came from the feeding station. She had discovered the remains of our feast. She shouted my name again and I heard her footsteps coming towards me. I immediately flew under the nest, into the corner where she could not reach me. Again…Simbiclie just sat there and watched. This angered me very much so I raced from my safe spot and lunged at him. I suddenly felt the milk churn in my guts…I projectile vomited all over him and the small human. The small human scooped me up and we headed for the litterbox room. She turned on the faucet…but I would have none of it. I bit down on her as hard as I could and she shrieked in terror, I fled to my lair and the large human still did not wake from his slumber.