Seabass’ Diary…Day 4

March 31, 2016-I am feeling particularly murderous today. I have annihilated a box of prey simulators and ripped the feathers off of a large stick. I’ve scattered them around my habitat to warn potential predators to stay away. I’ve practiced my ambushing skills by rushing through a semi-closed barrier and yelled my battle cry at the top of my lungs! I burst forth with such fury that it’s fortunate the small human was already using her litter box or I fear that she would have urinated on herself.

My mission today is to create an obstacle course to try and assassinate the large human. This is my second attempt in as many days.  I leave small counterfeit rodents at the top of the staircase…I lay in wait, watching and praying for his demise. Also, there is a secondary trap on the bottom step of the stair…I’ve saved some of my fur from bathing by keeping it safely inside of myself and regurgitating it when necessary. Today it is of the utmost importance that I use it. The large human easily beats the trap that I’ve set for him and does not fall to his death, I am devastated. Once again my plan has failed. But alas, there is one last hope…the cold, wet pile of fur at the bottom of the stairs. I watch and listen… The large human yells something that is inaudible but if I were to guess what he was yelling I would say it was a word that has four letters. Success! Lady luck smiles upon me and although the human is not expired, I am one step closer to knowing his  kryptonite. Each day I get closer to breaking his spirit and that warms my own.

I must finish this entry quickly because I fear there is a traitor among us. Simba conspires against me, of this I am sure. His loyalty lies to the small human, I oft see them together rubbing their faces on each other. Simba seems to be content with the vile woman and her strict regime of cuddling; this display of affection makes me want to vomit.I  will not be as stupid and fall for such obvious brainwashing. I will continue to plot my escape and one day soon I hope to obtain what I so desperately search for…FREEDOM.

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The device that I’ve stolen to remove my fur 

Seabass’ Diary…Day 3

March 30, 2016-Last night the large human had ham. It was agony to watch him eat it..he taunted me with every delicious bite but be sure I will exact my revenge. While the humans weren’t looking I formulated an ingenious but dangerous plan…I would steal the ham off the counter. I steadied myself on the counter and made the 20 foot leap across the room, I landed on target and pushed the plate onto the floor. Success!..but only for a moment. The small human came rushing in and pulled me away from my feast. She continues to mistreat me.

I awoke to the grasp of the small human. She and the large human have a very comfortable nest so I try to take up as much space as possible. I suppose there is a trade-off for my comfort…I must let her touch me but I insist on biting her hand every time to remind her of my power.  I vomited my breakfast on the carpet to show her my dissatisfaction with the menu that never varies…I also think that she is trying to poison me. I watch her scrub the carpet and while she is doing this I climb onto her back to get a better vantage point and to look for a possible escape route. My father Simba and I are served small, dry nuggets each morning at varying times due to the small human’s laziness. I’ve retreated to my lair because I know that the humans will not be able to reach me on the highest shelf of the laundry room. There is a window and sometimes a squirrel that I watch…oh if only I were free like him to frolic in the afternoon breeze…his very being reminds me of my oppression. I hate him. Today I shall try and sleep away the horror of this place and escape into my dreams of a better life.

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The deplorable conditions of my current lodgings…look away. 

Seabass’ Diary…Day 2

March 29, 2016-A bird taunts me this morning as I look out onto the front lawn. He sits there…smugly eating some sort of seed. Perhaps he realizes that we are separated by a clear barrier and I am unable to harm him…this is my prison and I long to explore the outside world. It gets worse here everyday…This morning, the smaller human picked me up and cuddled me…oh how I hate her. She would not even share a morsel of her breakfast with me even though she sees how emaciated I am. My father, who the humans call Simba, is my only hope at true entertainment.I practice my hunting skills on him with the dream that one day I will finally be set free. I stalk him.When he is unsuspecting I pounce and then retreat…he runs after me but alas he is too chubby to catch me. A few days ago I locked him in the closet where the bath towels are kept. The smaller human let him out when he alerted her by scratching at the door. My plan to take over as the alpha cat has failed but I will try again soon. I tried to injure the smaller human today by weaving in and out of her legs while she took a basket of laundry to the basement…I was hoping that I could escape while she lay on the floor unconscious from the fall…but again…I have failed. I suppose that tomorrow is another day…but I am unsure of how much more of this I can bear.

Seabass’ Diary…Day 1

Seabass is my Maine Coon; Here is his diary…in his own words.

March 28, 2016-Dear Diary, This is my first entry of many. I shall keep this diary as a record of occurrences in case I need to refer back to it in the future. Today was just like any other. I awoke at 3:30 am…starving. I went to the humans’ room to alert them of my discomfort, but alas my attempts to wake them were for naught. The one I dislike the least rolled over and ignored me. The larger one, who once gave me a bath six years ago, snores so loudly that I often wonder if there is a wild animal at large.I remember the bath as if it were yesterday…I will never forgive the human for his betrayal. My hunger did not dissipate, so I tried once again to alert the clueless humans. This time I slightly dragged my perfectly manicured nails across the smaller human’s face-not enough to cut her but enough to send a clear message that my needs must be attended to immediately. This time my efforts were rewarded. She awoke and stumbled to the kitchen; she filled my dish with little more than enough food to feed a small rodent, let alone a majestic creature such as myself. I displayed my disappointment by flipping my food dish over and eating each morsel of food one piece at a time. Perhaps I will try again tomorrow…or perhaps she cannot be taught?

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The smaller human forced me to do this…

Cat Care…Pills

Sometimes in a cat’s life they will be required to take medication in pill form. Sometimes cats will happily take medications…most of the time, they think you’re trying to poison them. Administering pills requires patience and determination, and these two things are so important when we need our pets to take medication.

Steps:

  1. Wrap your cat in a towel and sit on the floor with the cat between your legs.
  2. Place your dominant hand around kitty’s head so that your fingers are under their cheekbone.
  3. Tip the cat’s head back and their lower jaw should open.
  4. Using your middle finger, ease their jaw down and place the pill near the back of their tongue.
  5. Release your pet’s head and stroke their throat to encourage swallowing. This is important because they often will just spit the pill out.
  6. Stroke your cat and reward them with extra love and cuddles.

Follow these steps for success and kitty will be back to health in no time!

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Kittens wrapped in a towel…